Pitch Wars 2018: #BoostMyBio

Hey peoples. So, as a hopeful Pitch Wars mentee, it's time for me to take part in the #BoostMyBio blog hop, because as much as they said it was optional, I get the feeling (insert Honey Lemon voice) it's really...not. Or I just want an excuse to write some fun stuff about myself. Something like that.

As a YA contemporary fantasy/science-fantasy writer in need of publication, with over 150 queries under his belt, I'm thinking conventional routes might not cut it. Already I've got a small Wattpad fanbase (though they have yet to read my more recent, more polished drafts), but any help from seasoned tastemakers and writers (like the Pitch Wars mentors) I can get, that would absolutely give me a shot at getting ahead.

And getting ahead is exactly what my book, Red Rain, needs. First, a brief synopsis:

Heaven and Hell aren't above or below Earth. If you want to find them, you should be looking sideways.

Coldfire Creek, California, is a small mountain town straddling the border between Heaven and Hell - but not the Heaven and Hell we think we know. Instead, they are simply alternate versions of Earth. In this split-up town lives teenage angel Alex Snow, whose life is a very weird one. His twin brother Gabe is a demon, his tastes in pop culture are quirky at best...and one of his classmates has been brutally murdered. After some more bodies start to pop up in a string of gruesome homicides, all with some connection to water, the brothers are contacted by the still-living souls of the victims, who ask them to help stop this "Aqua Killer." What they do not expect is to discover their own shocking connection to the madman. And when Alex's girlfriend becomes a target, he must put a stop to the Aqua Killer or risk losing his first love.

And not only that, but thanks to the brilliant Sam Ayers, I even have a wonderful piece of cover art that I seriously would LOVE to see on the actual printed book someday.

If all this doesn't whet your appetite, I've failed as a reader, writer, and fanboy.

And now...my actual bio. Ready, Pitch Wars peeps? Here we go!

The Pinecone General, wishing he had this outfit for real. Especially the lightsaber.

Hey everyone.

Officially, I was born in 1993 in the San Francisco Bay Area, in a town too far south for driving winter rain and too far north for blazing summer heat. Unofficially, I was born in 1983 in Los Angeles, where the government immediately took me away, froze my infant self for ten years, and tried their best to make me forget I was Andrew Garfield's evil half-Maltese twin.

They failed. 😉

BEHOLD!

Unable to wait tables for lack of hand-eye coordination, and barely able to land a bookstore job for lack of the ability to maintain eye contact with the customers, I've instead turned to writing YA contemporary fantasy to fuel my career. It doesn't pay the bills, which is why I still live at home with my parents. Speaking of which, they were always bound and determined that I should grow up to be a nerd when my real dream was to be a geek, which is why we have so much trouble seeing eye to eye. That, and the fact that they usually see me through tracking the GPS on my phone, which is why I pretty much can't go anywhere except work, the library, and the movies maybe once a month, if that.

Because of my long-standing feeling that I don't belong in this world, I've either lost myself in the fictional ones of movies, books, and TV, or made up my own. It's a time-honored defense mechanism, and if my parents didn't want me to be a doe-eyed autistic INFP geekboy dreamer...

You should see how often I practice this in the mirror.

...they shouldn't have bought me Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone at age seven. Sadly, it's gotten to the point where happy endings are just so hard to come by in my work, because deadly feels are right where it's at, or so it appears. I blame Harry Potter, of course. And Divergent. And The Amazing Spider-Man, Supernatural, Buffy, Danny Phantom, Teen Wolf, Avatar: The Last Airbender, E.T., The Flash...the list goes on.

Ad infinitum nauseam.

I should also mention that after my last deal with the Devil, I'm required to continuously lament my single-pringle status lest I lose my soul. Even if I find a date (this in spite of the fact that I'm perfectly undateable), I must continue lamenting. That way, my parents won't suspect a thing, and won't get to disapprove of my significant other.

If you want to find me, I'm often in my writing cave (my bedroom), or perhaps listening to my Pandora because I'm mentally stuck at age 17 and that was super-hot back then in 2010. Believe it or not, none of my writing has ever been produced under the influence.

Though much of it was inspired by scenes like this one, scenes that make angels' wings shrivel all across the universe.

And thus concludeth my overlong bio page...for now.

Sending love to all my Pinecones. 🖤

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember - Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

Review: Surface Tension

Surface Tension by Mike Mullin
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A few years have gone by since Mike Mullin gave us the most recent Ashfall novel. Not the last one, I don't think - on his website, he's hinted at a potential future fourth novel, Blades of Spring, which he's been working on for a while. Well, now he's back with the first of another promising new series, this one a little less sci-fi apocalyptic, but no less action-packed.

It's almost Hitchcockian in how our main character Jake Solley (not, of course, to be confused with Avatar hero Jake Sulley - he's heard that joke before, a ton of times) winds up in the wrong place at the wrong time, witnessing a domestic terrorist attack in which the terrorists do everything they can to pass themselves off as jihadists. Though the psychological terror is even more gripping than the initial act of terror that kick-starts the whole story, because Jake winds up with a head injury that makes it so nearly everyone consistently doubts him all along. Even his mother. Really, the only people sticking in his corner absolutely 100% are his best friend Zach and his girlfriend Laurissa.

In addition to Jake's POV, we also get that of Betsy, daughter of the terrorist leader. She's tons of no fun to read most of the time, because she parrots her father's vile white-supremacist, anti-immigrant, Islamophobic alt-right views, like, a lot. (This despite the fact that, like a lot of alt-right types, he's misogynistic and highly abusive too.) She even moderates a neo-Nazi message board and freely refers to anyone who doesn't politically align with her father with a few all-too-familiar ableist and/or emasculating slurs.

I guess it's a good thing that this book kinda flies under the radar of Book Twitter, because there's a lot of people there who would have a lot to say about this book stepping into a racist POV and even finding a way to redeem said racist, on some level. But there's a lot to be said for this book condemning such unacceptable "values" too. Jake and Laurissa, as an interracial couple (white and black, respectively), have a few important conversations on race in modern America, in addition to their usual less-serious geekery (both bonded over being Trekkies and fans of YA fantasy like the works of Kristin Cashore and Tamora Pierce, and Laurissa, in particular, enjoys swearing in Lord of the Rings references.) Not to mention there's a very strong recurring theme of law enforcement being untrustworthy, if not outright villainous, which I'm sure will resonate with many as well. And like I said, Betsy does get slowly redeemed over the course of the story. While I can't speak for other readers' reactions to her arc, it's at least refreshing to see that over time, she's willing to listen to people outside her racist echo chamber and change her ways accordingly.

I was surprised to find out this book was out in the world when it got delivered to my work, which is when I immediately ordered it at the library. And now, that means I can hand-sell it - and that reminds me, I'll need to get us to stock the Ashfall series for hand-selling purposes too.

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Review: The Complication

The Complication by Suzanne Young
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Promised by Suzanne Young to be the final book of the Program series, and yes, this is most definitely the case. It's not just the end of Tatum's duology, but the wrapping up of the original Program story and the Remedy duology as well. All three main concepts that started all three duologies figure strongly into this final entry. And while it's a bit of a long haul to the end of this one, with a bit of a slow and confusing first half, it's the second half where Young really outdoes herself. Endless surprises and twists, some pretty life-threatening ones, even...but then it all builds to a majorly hopeful ending. Though not every loose end is quite tied up, most are - including one reference to the original Chipotle, unless I miss my guess. And the very last page, it's so symbolically defiant of the Program and all it stands for that I can't help but smile thinking about it.

(Also, rereading James' description in this book, I now realize in hindsight he happens to resemble a buddy of mine from Oregon. Because why not?)

To the Program world, I now say ave atque vale.

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Review: Pride

Pride by Ibi Zoboi
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Another ARC I've picked up at work, another ARC review to make...and like a few of Becky Albertalli's books, I'm going to consider this one a 3.5 to be rounded up to a nice 4.

I admit, the phenomenal level of greatness to which Ibi Zoboi debuted in American Street made me extra-hyped for Pride. It's a slight case of Sophomore Slump to me, but that might be more a case of personal taste than anything else. American Street, after all, has more than a foot in the gateway of magical realism, while Pride has next to no genre-fic trappings whatsoever. And it being a remix of Pride and Prejudice, a book I admittedly don't like all that much, doesn't help.

But what Zoboi's two books have in common is a vibrant atmosphere rooted in Caribbean culture - in this book's case, largely Dominican. Spanish dialogue abounds, and you can practically smell the food and hear the music on the page. And then in come the gentrifiers, the Darcy family, building a huge mansion so they stick out like sore thumbs before they even arrive. Zuri, our leading lady, thinks she's got them all figured out. But she doesn't, and nor has she got her own friends and family quite figured out either. Everyone's got something to hide, some more so than others.

For sure, this is another Zoboi book I'll be happy to hand-sell at work. Now, when do we get that middle-grade one of hers I heard about? The one with the ice cream people? (Or am I wrong?)

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Review: Escaping from Houdini

Escaping from Houdini by Kerri Maniscalco
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Last year, when I first started my bookstore job, one of the first ARCs I read was Kerri Maniscalco's second book, Hunting Prince Dracula. Now, almost a full year down the line, the time is almost here for Escaping from Houdini to hit shelves, and I got an ARC of this book at work just like I got for its predecessor.

Picking up very soon after where the second book left off, this one takes place almost entirely on an ocean liner, the RMS Etruria. It actually kinda continues a trend I've noticed with Maniscalco's novels - each one features a smaller, increasingly confined setting, the better to heighten the suspense each time. We've gone from the city of London to a distant Romanian college to, now, the most narrowly defined setting of them all. One can only wonder how much more confined the upcoming fourth and final book can be...but I digress. Here, though, it's got to be one of the most classically Holmesian stories yet, built around a magic show and thereby managing to put some of the most daring and impossible seemingly supernatural murders in this series on display. As a result, it plays out a little like Maniscalco applying her own spin to the circus fantasies of Caraval or Daughter of the Burning City - the latter, especially, because of the murder mystery element.

Though I'm a little disappointed that there's relatively little of Houdini in the story - and the title's a tad bit misleading too - I'm actually happy to report that Mephistopheles makes a very interesting magical showman in his own right. Audrey Rose and Thomas keep the story very strong too with their romance, arresting in how much they need each other but also have to try and maintain some sense of era-appropriate decorum. In public, that is. And once the crime is solved, let's just say, without spoilers, that Agatha Christie would approve of the subtle homage to one of her classics (unless I miss my guess.)

I'm hoping that next year, with the final book in the series, I'm able to get an ARC of that as well to complete my (admittedly incomplete since I never got one of the first book) cycle. And until then, I'll happily hand-sell all the books at work - once we get restocked, that is, because I got one coworker to buy our last copies of the first two recently. :)

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Review: The Brightsiders

The Brightsiders by Jen Wilde
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

"Written in graffiti on a bridge in the park
'Do you ever get the feeling that you're missing the mark?'"
-Coldplay, "Hurts Like Heaven"

Trigger warnings for this book: abusive parents, abusive relationships, slut-shaming, biphobia, mental illness (particularly acute social anxiety), allusions to transphobia and racism.

Yeah, compared to Queens of Geek, Jen Wilde's latest ain't so fluffy and sweet. Well, Geek got into some pretty heavy territory sometimes as well, but not to this degree. Though that's to be expected when the territory here is about teenage rockstars, and our main character, in particular, parties hard to cope with the sheer pressures of fame.

But then, Emmy King's got a lot of great friends to back her up. Her bandmates, Alfie and Ryan. Her best friend Chloe. Alyssa and Charlie and Taylor and Jamie from Queens of Geek - you have no idea how happy I was to see all my faves return! And of course, Emmy's cousin Kass, one of the few family members of hers who has her back at all times. Unlike her parents, who are lying, backstabbing, self-absorbed...God, I just loathed them so much, even more so than Charlie's ex whose name I've now forgotten, lol.

And, as always, Wilde's greatest strength lies in the sheer diversity of her cast. All three Brightsiders band members are some flavor of queer - Emmy and Ryan are both cis bi (the latter figuring his own sexuality out over the course of the book), Alfie is pan and genderqueer, using he/him pronouns (and, being Emmy's major love interest throughout the book, it's actually the first I've read in YA with an f/nb romance - the only other one I know of being Cam Girl, and that's decidedly NA.) Chloe, as a major supporting character, brings some welcome enby rep to the table (and they're bi too!) And it definitely wouldn't be Wilde without a few nods to intersectionality and race - Chloe, being black (and with a white feminist for a mom, because Emmy's not the only one with serious parental problems), has a few good words on the subject. Ryan is Korean too, and of course there's the interracial pairing of Alyssa and Charlie carried over from Queens of Geek.

What really shone the most for me, though, was Alfie's social anxiety. I went into this book thinking I'd be reading it #ownvoices only as a bi person, but I was surprised to find another aspect to make this one an #ownvoices read for me too - one that I've very rarely seen, and if I have, it's never been explicitly made clear. Like a lot of #ownvoices cases for neuro- and psychological conditions, Alfie doesn't 100% mirror me - I don't find myself vomiting like he often does - but he does mirror me as exactly as he can in one way that really counts. He masks well enough that literally nobody can tell he struggles until he says so - or, worse, when they see him in a vulnerable moment. Heck, just last year I was sort of reconnecting with an old high school classmate on Facebook, and I told him I had social anxiety, and he said something to the effect of, "Would never have guessed that, man." (On a lighter note, after a few years of literally all my old high school friends slowly forgetting my existence, this same guy was the only one to actually wish me a happy birthday just last week like next to no time had passed.)

I guess Wilde's building herself a sort of SwoonReads universe with Queens of Geek and The Brightsiders. I can only imagine where she'd go from here, but it'd really be something to see. And one thing's for sure, it's going to be inclusive as hell and I'm here for that. :D

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Review: Lifel1k3

Lifel1k3 by Jay Kristoff
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

First off, Mister Kristoff, how dare you.

Second off, Mister Kristoff, of course you dare. You're the most rockstarinest author in YA, after all. You call your fans "droogs" fershitsake, ya goddamn edgelord, you.

Still, though...there's a reason or two why I named the villain in my current WIP after you. And it's not just 'cause I'm pretty sure you reached into my brain, saw the names Alex and Gabe, and decided to use them a hell of a lot differently than I do for my own favorite Snow Bros.

No, it's 'cause, just like your other stories, the Illuminae Files and the Nevernight Chronicle, you're giving us some of the most bloodydamn killer cool storytelling in the industry. And in order to achieve that bloodydamn killer cool factor, you just have to reach into our lifelike little hearts, rip them out, crush them, stomp on them with your Doc Martens (or whatever's your preferred footwear, but boy's intuition tells me it's Doc Martens), and finally eat them raw.



Please, leave some hearts for the rest of us writerly types to tear out, starting with the wannabe prettyboy writing this review. (Yeah, between this book and Illuminae, it's pretty clear that "prettyboy," all as one word, is a Kristoff signature.)

It's a shame that this book hasn't gotten nearly the same attention and traction as Illuminae and sequels, that I've noticed. Sure, this one gets off to a bit of a slow start, but when cometh the second half, Kristoff straight-lines a ton of hookups and betrayals that all combine to give exactly the emotional roller-coaster promised by all those leaving their "HOW DARE YOU"s in Mister Kristoff's mentions.

I'm sorely tempted to mail my copy up north to Oregon just 'cause I know a certain Wulf of the Chrono variety (true cert' I can't stop won't stop shouting out my best bloody bro) who would love this book. I mean, the guy hooked me on Altered Carbon. It's time I returned the favor.

Oh, and one more thing - did Mister Kristoff name BioMaas after SJM herself? Just curious.

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