Deadpool 2: A Filthy, Foul-Mouthed Family

***WARNING: NO SPOILERS FOR DEADPOOL 2, BUT NSFW LANGUAGE ABOUNDS. IT'S DEADPOOL, AFTER ALL.***

So, Ricks, it's been two years and some since we last talked. In that time, you've expanded your four-part fantasy series to seven books - holy Harry Potter, Batman! - and come out of the closet - bully for you, my brave bi boi! 💗💜💙

Thanks, DP. Well, my family doesn't know yet, but that's because they're phobic as hell.

Fuckin' A. I know that feel. Imagine how my dirty douchebag daddy would react when he found out he'd shot up sperm to make a pan boi like me.

Your dad's all but dead to you, though, isn't he?

For that and many other reasons. But back on subject, my dude. You've made some accomplishments in life - you've even got a job hand-selling books at a prestigious institution of higher learning now, and I understand you've sold some of my shit while you're at it.

Helps that for this one in particular, I've got a real-life bromance now. Even if he's hundreds of miles away.

Ohhhhh, I know which bro you're talking about. ;) Honestly, sincerely, I hope you get to meet him someday. That'll be a nice summer break for you, you know?

It would.

But there's one thing I still need to ask you, something very fucking important...

I'm not marrying you, man, no matter how cute and perky your ass is.

Maybe it is. But yours too, am I right? *reaches around to grab mine*

*slide away because he didn't fucking ask any more than he asked Colossus in the movie*

Hey, wait, I thought you said no spoilers.

That's hardly a spoiler. Not like when-

*covers my mouth*

*bite his hand* -lake-

*covers my mouth again*

*bite his hand again* -wilder-

*covers my mouth again* You know I can fucking heal, right? Biting my hand only turns me on, you cocksucking little-

*put my middle finger into his eyehole, forgetting I haven't trimmed my nails in forever*

GAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Dick move, Rickenstein!

You want a real dick move? *grab for his balls*

*swats my hand away* Nuh-uh! You stay back till you've learned to handle another man's junk like it's your own!

Great. Now you're just quoting my manuscript.

You're goddamn right I am. I'm a fanboy, I'll speak in Ricky quotes as fluently as the next one. Oh, here's another one: "So, uh, who tops first? You top first, I top first?" Brilliant Poe Dameron reference on that one. I can see why you've used it twice. And to answer that question, you top first.

Oh really? Well, that's awful sweet of you.

But I'm the top around here. I'm only doing you a solid 'cause you're still a virgin. Which finally brings me back to my point. How in the motherfucking everloving shitballs are you still a virgin? At your age?

Jesus Christ. I knew you'd go there. And after all your Château de Virgin jokes in the movie too.

But that's all they are, though. Jokes. I'm a literal motherfucking joke machine. That's my real superpower. Even those stupid bloody power-dampener collars - ain't no safe word when they put those on you, just sayin' - they can't stop my motor mouth. And believe me, I may crack a bunch of virgin jokes, but we all know one thing - there ain't nobody in Xavier's place still a virgin above a certain age.

'Cept me, if I go there, ever.

Nah, I'll move you over to the Avengers' place. Black Widow would sleep with you and stick a needle in your neck-

You're very tempting me. I'm not kidding.

Whereas Thor, he'd be a cuddle monster and tell you all these hilarious-ass stories about the old country. I speak from experience on this. ;)

I do love a Hemsworth. And cuddling.

Thunder-Arms gives the best cuddles this side of Vanessa, trust me.

Another line of mine you're pilfering? And a deep cut from my fanfics, too.

Cute of you to notice. All honesty, though? You being a virgin doesn't make you less of a human. It actually makes you more, mostly 'cause it may or may not have turned you into a writing wizard. *takes my hands* That said, Ricky Pinecone...you still need to get fucking laid.

In my own time.

*pats my cheek* Thatsaboi.

Now I feel less like a tool for telling you to leave so I can get to the meat of this review-

You mean the part where you award it an A+ and compliment all the broad-spectrum feels and unexpectedly complex characters? *holds up pics of Cable and Russell, especially*

Actually, I'm giving it an A just because a few of those twists rubbed me the wrong way. Like, they didn't gel with the general tone of the movie as well as they should have-

Come on. You've played a few of those same twists yourself.

In new and inventive ways that feel less...one-sided.

*shrugs* Point.

And yes, a lot of characters are unexpectedly complex. And then there are some that just don't get the screentime they deserve-

Peter, amirite? Only 'cause the script originally called for your sweet little Patronus, but Holland was busy on Titan and Garfield was busy shooting some pretentious-ass pseudo-Hitchcock thing where he wanted to fuck this girl that looked like his old girl-

Took the words right out of my mouth.

*holds up notecard* Want 'em back? I'll season 'em with curry first!

That's okay, I'm trying to take up more protein than fiber in my diet.

As you wish.

But you know who deserves her own solo movie? Domino. Because she's got the best superpower in the whole damn X-Force-

Mmm...I suppose...

And even better, the way they write it! She may have a lot of luck, but lucky twists that happen in the moment, they can still have..."unfortunate" consequences down the line.

Well...that's not lazy writing.

See? You're warming up to her yet.

Of course I am. She's awe and some and I'll be happy to get a glorified cameo in her own movie. I'll be her luck for a moment, play bump-ass with a car door before she motorbikes by, or something like that.

I like the way you think, Wadey. That's why you get an A from me.

And that's why I love you the most of any of my fans, Ricky. *pulls mask up and waits for me to kiss him, which I do*

I'll leave it up to y'all to decide who's the Garfield and who's the Stone here.

Of course I'm Emma. Nobody else can be Andy Russell like you, brother. Oh hey, can I say the last part of your goodbye this time?

Sure thing, man. Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember: Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

Review: The Flash: Johnny Quick

The Flash: Johnny Quick by Barry Lyga
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I loved the first Flash adventure Barry Lyga wrote, Hocus Pocus, because of how much Lyga gave us better characters than their equivalents on the CW TV series. Here, in Johnny Quick, Lyga not only writes these characters super-well, but also gives us an even more thrilling story very much worthy of the TV series at its best: loaded with action and Fringe-grade multiverse-hopping, tons of favorite characters making little appearances (I especially loved Captain Cold getting some time in the spotlight, since he's long been a fave of mine on the strength of Wentworth Miller's range alone), and not letting the whole Hocus Pocus storyline hang by itself - it's pretty clear here that we're in for a tightly plotted trilogy to conclude with one more book. And my personal favorite bit - the fact that instead of corny WestAllen scenes dragging me out of the moment, Barry and Iris both get to kick ass and take names as best they can, he as a speedster and she as a journalist. H.R. and Joe and Cait and Wally are also very much tons of fun - especially Wally, of course. And while Cisco's a little brought down by his attempts to quit caffeine giving him a bit of a downer attitude, I'm happy to see Lyga shaking things up a bit here.

One more book in the trilogy, which I cannot wait to read...and in the meantime, there's still Jo Whittemore's Supergirl: Curse of the Ancients for me to pick up eventually.

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Review: Fawkes

Fawkes by Nadine Brandes
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

More of a 3.5, this ARC, but I'll give it a nice, generous 4. It's a little hard to follow this book sometimes because of the weird color-based magic system, which feels a lot like Jasper Fforde's Shades of Grey but even more enigmatic, and with no plans for sequels (not that Fforde's much better in that regard, since he's pretty well stalled out on all his series), it's a little maddening that there's not much explanation for the mechanics of the magic. But there's enough explanation, and enough political subtext - borrowing not only from the Catholic vs. Protestant fighting of 1600s England, but eerily reflecting today's left-right split as well - that the book still works, and works very well, especially when we're given a semi-anti-hero as desperate as Thomas Fawkes. Desperate, but also willing to consider other solutions than what he's been told and taught.

For sure, I'll be taking a peek at other books by Nadine Brandes - as soon as I can find them!

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Review: Lost Crow Conspiracy

Lost Crow Conspiracy by Rosalyn Eves
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Like its predecessor, Lost Crow Conspiracy doesn't hold up very well on the first read. Maybe at some point I'll pick it up a second time and appreciate it better, but for now, this one's getting a measly two stars from me. It's a very strange mixed bag, really. The social commentary game is stronger than ever, especially now that there's another oppressed group in the mix, members of which really want to turn the tables on their oppressors and get their own back. But the story itself is long and aimless, and it's surprisingly easy to forget which of the two POV's I'm in at any given time. Or, more importantly, what point in the timeline I'm at in my reading. So maybe I'll pick this one up a second time, probably closer to when Book 3 comes out to close the trilogy. But until then, I'm not really in a hurry to ensure they start carrying this one at the bookstore.

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Review: War Storm

War Storm by Victoria Aveyard
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Rise, red as the dawn.

I've finally finished Aveyard's fourth and final Red Queen tale, which I expected to be an epic, electric bloodbath.

Maybe it wasn't a bloodbath per se, but it was still quite epic and electric, once again validating my status as a passenger on the Aveyardian Hype Train.



Yeah, that Amazing Spider-Man 2-level electric. You read it here first, Pinecones.

Up till now, Iron Gold and the Talon Saga held the record for the most first-person POVs I saw in one book - four in each case, especially in the Talon sequels. Aveyard, for her 600-plus-page opus, here gives us no less than five - 5! - POV characters in first person, unexpected and unprecedented to the best of my knowledge. (And then, not to be outdone, my buddy Koda came along today and told me he had plans for as many as six POVs in his own novel. But that's neither here nor there.) I'm actually a little disappointed that Cameron doesn't get to reprise her POV status after King's Cage, and especially disappointed that one of the five POV characters is Maven, the one character still around up to this point whom I despise more than any other.

But you know what? Some of the other POV characters give him a run for his money in dislikability sometimes. I'm looking at Evangeline, especially, because of her unrelentingly snobby attitude towards the Reds. And then there's Iris and Mare, who, while both grounded in sympathy and family love and devotion to their causes, both have a tendency to rub me the wrong way here. I was actually happy, though, that we got one POV character I could totally, 100% get behind - Cal, of course. Hell, I almost want to call Cal the hero of this book, if only because the real protagonist, Mare, is much more of an anti-hero at this point. Not that she's evil, but her unwillingness to allow Cal to take the Nortan throne, her insistence on abolishing the monarchy entirely rather than trusting that a good man can rule well...it reminded me a lot of Jess in Buried Heart, especially.

The old arc words of the earlier books, "Anyone can betray anyone," rear their ugly heads but good in this final book. Like its predecessor, it's very heavy on the politicking, particularly as the Scarlet Guard tries to fully rally Montfort to its cause - and, of course, continue to pit all the Silver monarchs and lords against each other. Montfort represents an ideal, a constitutional democracy where everyone gets to have a say and truth, justice, and the American way aren't dead yet. But then, even Montfort has skeletons in its closet - they're not above kidnapping and holding royal children for ransom. So, more than ever, pretty much all the lands carved out of the North American continent of this future all represent different sides of America today - good and bad everywhere, it all depends on which you boost up and practice.

Like I said, this book isn't much of a bloodbath. As much as I enjoyed such infamously deadly finales as Deathly Hallows, Mockingjay, and Allegiant, here Aveyard gives us a far more hopeful ending, and yet a far sadder one too because it's quite open to interpretation what will happen going forward. I will say this much, though - the most prominent death was exactly what the doctor ordered, especially since without it, the open ending wouldn't have that perfect, arachnid-worthy balance of hope and tension.

As a last observation, I'm again very happy to see that Aveyard makes it a point of creating one of the most diverse and inclusive casts in YA. It's another sign of how much the second half of the series showcases her growth and maturity as a writer. Not only because we get to see so much more of her world and its inner workings, but because she takes such care to show that Red, Silver, or New (or Ardent, as the Montfortians call them), there's still a wide variety of skin colors and ethnicities and sexualities among all the people. Hell, it's really great to see how Montfort has an openly gay and happily married head of state, and we first know this while in Evangeline's POV no less, to show her starting to realize that she doesn't need to allow the homophobia dominant in Silver courts to force her into a life she can't abide. And with the extremely diverse cast all dressed in an extremely wide variety of colorful uniforms, it's hard not to look at this book, in particular, and think Aveyard wasn't influenced by Into the Badlands.

I have no idea what Aveyard plans to gift us with next, but of course I'm going to read it no matter what, because I'm still not getting off this hype train anytime soon.

For now, to the world of Red Queen, I say ave atque vale, and of course...

Rise, red as the dawn.

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Review: The Love Letters of Abelard and Lily

The Love Letters of Abelard and Lily by Laura Creedle
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A neurodivergent YA romance with autistic and #ownvoices ADHD rep? Sign me up. And though I picked this one up a lot later than I should have, I'm glad I eventually did all the same.

Okay, so my feelings about this book are a tad bit mixed, and a lot of that owes to how the book diverges from my own neurodivergent #ownvoices experience. Especially on the autistic side, because Abelard doesn't quite match me as an autistic guy - he's got more sensory processing issues than I do, for one thing - but his being much more eloquent in text than voice, that's a match to me. And his annoyance with people not being on time, which, sadly, I share with him. As for Lily, while I can't really speak to being an #ownvoices reader for her - ADHD does run in my family, and I've got a few symptoms, but have never been officially diagnosed myself - it's her self-destructive tendencies, her own sensory-processing issues (often mishearing what other people say), and her hangup on having someone who loves her be the very person who validates her existence in which I see myself strongly.

The story's a bit of a rambly one, but it's also an emotional roller coaster, especially since Abelard and Lily's relationship is far from perfect. Their respective mental issues make it hard for them to love each other, but love each other they do, and I'm totally here for that. A lot of the supporting cast helps too, especially Rosalind and Richard, who make a sweet beta couple - this book's pretty well-populated with soft boys, always a plus. Even Lily's mom and sister, though not as supportive as they could be, pop off the page very well. And while I'm nowhere near enthused about the storyline involving Lily possibly getting neurosurgical treatment for her ADHD - in her shoes, I'd refuse no matter what, but that's just me - the doctor in charge, whom Lily nicknames "Frankenstein," is a pretty funny guy who genuinely cares about everyone he meets.

I'd like to close this review out by remarking, quite happily, on how Lily actually calls Abelard "sexy" or "gorgeous" or variations thereof several times in text. Having spent years lonely, lacking in relationships, and feeling that my autism somehow desexualizes me and makes me undesirable, I'll gladly take any rep I can get that proves that autism doesn't take away from physical attractiveness at all. And on one more note - Abelard's description in the book reminds me a hell of a lot of one of my best friends. In that respect, he's like the best of both my world and Koda's.

It took me longer than I should have to pick up this book, but now, I can thank Laura Creedle for having written it.

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Review: A Man Called Ove

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

After seeing this book on the shelves at the bookstore - and on one of the front tables as well - for quite some time, I finally picked it up and found myself surprised by what I found within. I'd read the first chapter in the store already, and it was pretty funny, even if a lot of the humor came from Ove's political incorrectness and utter lack of patience for the poor guy trying to sell him an iPad. So I thought the book would be pretty funny in the same vein. And, to an extent, it was...but it was also pretty sad too, once we found out how much Ove was so lonely and wanted to all but kill himself.

Or, at least, he would if he weren't repeatedly interrupted in the process by his neighbors. Who may or may not be representations of the universe's existence that Ove's time hasn't come yet.

A little ironically, despite the often dark subject matter, this book actually helped me feel a bit better about myself, reading it on a day when I'd woken up super depressed. For that reason, I'll be happy to recommend it to anyone who comes by it at the store. If they haven't read it already, of course.

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Review: A Court of Frost and Starlight

A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I mean, it's pretty much official that I'm no longer a dues-paying member of the SJM fandom, but I still lowkey expect to pick up one of her books and like it.

This little diversion in the ACOTAR series, supposedly meant as a bridge between the original trilogy and the forthcoming new trilogy, was by far my least favorite SJM book yet. Not that it was a total piece of crap, but it almost felt like Maas pushed it out to ensure that between this, Catwoman: Soulstealer, and Kingdom of Ash, she'd still be able to meet the 1300-page quota to which she's made herself stick all the last couple of calendar years too.

It's a short little story, but it's too crammed with too many POVs, most of which are third-person, which feels really oddly out of place in this series - part of how it was easy to differentiate between this series and Throne of Glass being that this series has historically always used first-person. But here, only Feyre and Rhys get first-person - proof positive, yet again, that those characters are the big Salami faves even though there are other characters who deserve much more time in the first-person spotlight. Cassian and Azriel, for instance. And Nesta too, because she provides the most drama in this book by far. But no, everyone's third-person except for our "favorite" mates, who of course get a sex scene that takes up, like, ten percent of the book all by itself. Though I admit, I laughed out loud at the scene of Feyre telepathically talking to Rhys while he's in the sauna, and he comments how embarrassing it is for him to be "at attention" with his buddies all naked beside him. Haha, get over yourself, ya proud, fragile male hetero.

(Oops, I just called him a "male" even though SJM pretty much ruined that word forever. So sorry about that.)

I hope the other two SJM releases of 2018 will be more my speed and style - especially Kingdom of Ash since, theoretically, it should end that series for good. But until there's some proper continuation of the ACOTAR world - without Feyre and Rhys' POVs, gorrammit - I'll just sit here in my disappointment in ACOFAS.

Especially because, yeah, I admit, I still feel stung by the way Salami totally betrayed the Feylin fans starting with ACOMAF and Tamlin's complete personality 180. Especially since we get no less than two chapters of how broken Tamlin is after the original trilogy's events.

Aimal was right. Tamlin deserved better than to be completely demonized just to make Rhys look good by comparison.

But I could spend all day talking about how I'd rewrite SJM's books and get them right, so don't get me started.

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Review: Who Fears Death

Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Every so often, I find myself picking up another Nnedi Okorafor book, and I feel like I'm going to go through them all way too slowly. But this one, it's my favorite of hers yet, precisely because of how hard-hitting it is. Not unlike the current talk of the town in the YA world, The Poppy War, here we have an #ownvoices fantasy novel that features a young protagonist, but is most definitely not a YA novel. Not when such horrors as rape and racism and female circumcision are at the center of the plot, some even woven deep into Onyesonwu's backstory. Who Fears Death is another employee's Staff Pick at the Stanford Bookstore, but now I can assist him in hand-selling this book - though, like with The Fifth Season just down at the other end of the table on the display, with a ton of trigger warnings first.

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Best And Worst Of The 2017-18 TV Season

As another TV season ends, I've got some Netflix involvement in the rankings of my Best and Worst shows of the year, thanks to having finally joined that streaming service after such a long time of not being on it like everyone else. So, while the party typically don't stop till The Flash or the Agents of SHIELD walk out, it's time I put up the rankings and their reasonings, as has become my annual tradition.

As always, we're starting with the Bottom 5.

5. Jessica Jones

I admit, it's a tad unfair that I'm including the new season of Jessica Jones in this list, since I'm still only halfway through it as of this writing - only seven episodes out of thirteen. But those seven episodes are such a long, meandering mess, with almost entire episodes' worth of flashbacks to further disrupt the pacing, that it's become little more than glorified background viewing for me at this point. Even worse, there's no villain as memorable and despicable as Kilgrave, and it shows. Pretty much the only reason I want to finish now is so I can move on to the upcoming second season of Luke Cage as quickly as possible.

Not much of an excuse there, JJ.

4. The Magicians

I used to actually really like this Syfy show because I thought it was better than the original source material - Lev Grossman's grimdark "parody" of popular fantasy novels. This year, however, as The Magicians TV series outstripped the source material, it became painfully clear, for the first time, that the show really wasn't much better than the books. By this point, I really can't care for any of these characters, not even Quentin, whose depressed and disaffected and denied-all-the-love attitude was my main reason for relating to the show in the first place. Pretty much the only reason I'm not quitting the show entirely is because of the massive reinvention promised by this season's cliffhanger, but aside from that, I'm sick and tired of these poorly written millennial stereotypes.

Yeah, you heard me, Elliott. And frankly, you make me wanna gouge my eyes out.

3. Supergirl

Hard to believe this show, one of my favorites from last year - a previous Pinecone Award winner, too! - has fallen so hard from grace. Season 2, as far as I'm concerned, was Peak Supergirl for me, largely because of the lovely character development given to Mon-El and the naturally chemically effervescent Karamel ship. Unfortunately, it appears the writers have instead listened to Mon's haters this year, minimizing his strength (literal man-killing "omicron radiation," anyone?) and sinking Karamel in favor of the chemistry-free "SaturnValor" ship (and even worse, the highly problematic casting of Amy Jackson as Imra, or as I like to call her, "Superhomewrecker.") This, combined with an strong shift to visual and emotional darkness reminiscent of that of The Flash Season 3 (a season from which they still haven't fully recovered, and likely never will because of the neglect of Wally West and continued excessive focus on WestAllen), has made Supergirl now my least favorite Arrowverse show by far. Don't get me wrong, I still have my faves - Kara, Mon, Alex, Winn, J'onn, and all their actors (But especially my forever faves Melissa Benoist and Chris Wood.) But when multiple friends of mine in the fandom have quit watching the show because of the writers' betrayal, you know the show's in the toilet. Bringing in Stitchers creator Jeffrey Schechter for Season 4 might help because we'll get the very man responsible for Camsten hopefully helping reverse the damage this season's writers did to Karamel, but the antis are already working their evil magic on him, so that's got me super worried.

Kara, I love you, but without your better half, there's so much less sunshine in the world.

2. The Walking Dead

Not a surprise to see back in the Bottom 5 is another old favorite of mine - my least favorite show last season. Though they promised All Out War - specifically, an adaptation of that storyline from the Walking Dead comics - they really gave us yet another long, drawn-out, dreadful, piss-poor, horrible torture-fest of not enough going in the good guys' favor and too much going in the bad guys' favor. Even though the bad guys all but imploded in the end - and thank God too! - the very end of this eighth season of The Walking Dead denies us all proper closure, and is further proof that the writers have their heads firmly up Negan's ass at all times. Figuring in the death of one of my favorite characters, one whose death pretty much only pleases that bastard Scott Gimple and all the most hateful jerks in the fandom? I'm glad the ratings for this show have gone significantly down, and it's all Gimple's fault. But hey, Gimple's no longer going to be head writer going forward, so maybe this time next year, TWD won't be in the Bottom 5 again.

Pictured: the guy representing how much I'd love to personally assassinate Negan. Even though he never did himself.

1. Inhumans

Now that ABC finally did the right thing and cancelled this hot mess, we can finally, officially pretend this darkest hour of the MCU never happened.

Seriously. A coproduction between Marvel, ABC, and IMAX, and shit like this is where all the money went?

And now, the Top 5!

5. The 100

The one and only show to have made it into the Pinecone Awards every year since they began, The 100 is also looking to be the first-ever four-time winner as well. After the new apocalypse of Season 4's Praimfaya, Season 5 begins with a soft reboot, jumping ahead in time six years. Though there's far less of the world to inhabit now - the only safe places being in space, a single green valley on the ground, and the bunker under Polis - the new season has taken a different approach, spending entire episodes dealing with either Clarke and Madi in the valley and Bellamy and company up in space, or Octavia and Indra and all our old Skaikru and Grounder friends down in the bunker. It's a strangely Walking Dead-like approach, but here, it works because we're not following one or two characters for an entire episode. We're following a lot of people, and seeing them put through all the wringers, and it's proven some of the most fascinating viewing we've had on this show since the diabolical ALIE storyline in Season 3.

And here we see Clarke, that Mama Bear, with a little bit of red stripe like a throwback to her Wanheda days.

4. A Series of Unfortunate Events

I was able to finally watch the entire Season the First of this series in January, not long after joining Netflix for the first time. That first season was great because it adapted the first four books very faithfully, while incorporating the ongoing VFD mystery from the get-go not unlike the 2004 film (which still holds a special place in my heart.) But now, in Season the Second, we get ten episodes of such strong aesthetic variety (my favorite, though, is the Harry Potter-meets-The Hunger Games style of The Austere Academy, closely followed by the Art Deco Ersatz Elevator), and also more of the VFD mystery being unveiled with the early additions of Olivia Caliban and Jacques Snicket - bet you didn't see that coming! Though the new season does have its little flaws - The Ersatz Elevator gets a little too padded with Olaf's song and dance, and Mr. Poe feels a little awkwardly shoehorned into the plot at times where he wasn't there in the books - it's also very faithful to the books, and feels even more so like the second coming of Pushing Daisies, that I can't help but love what Snicket's given us.

Bit of a stretch to call Nero a villain, though - in this adaptation, they actually make him slightly nicer.

3. The Good Place

As always, I can never spoil exactly what makes this show super-duper fun, especially if you haven't started it yet.

If so, forking start already!

All I will spoil is that this shot ends Season 2. But it's evergreen for starting to watch any episode of this show.

2. Legends of Tomorrow

Rocketing its way up to the top of my Arrowverse TV series rankings now is this time-travel tale. Though Arrow won the Pinecone as recently as December 2017 due in large part to the presence of Michael Emerson as Cayden James, since then, Legends of Tomorrow has become the best of the bunch. And in this case, it's because of some new characters who've joined the show in the latter half of Season 3. I'm especially looking at my old fave Constantine, who's set to finally become a Legend himself as of Season 4, and also at Wally West, finally giving Keiynan Lonsdale the chance to be himself - and be awe and some - after months of neglect at the hands of the Flash writers. That, plus the season finale, in which Legends finally embraces its cheesiest awesome instincts and totally abandons the overdramatic shackles that plagued it from its beginning. Maybe a little too off the wall at times - like, really, telling teenage Barack Obama "Make America Grodd Again?" - but this will always be remembered in this house as the season of Mallus, John Noble (as himself, even!), Wally, Constantine, and of course, Beebo.

Do you accept Beebo as your Lord and Savior?

1. Agents of SHIELD

If I have to explain again why this is my favorite show, just check my Twitter page. It's practically a Daisy, Coulson, FitzSimmons, and Yo-Yo stan account anyway.

It's too bad we have to wait a year now for Season 6 in summer 2019 (!!!), but the fact that Season 6 is happening, it's a bloody godsend.

Daisy's gonna kick some names and take some ass. Though she's always got permission to take mine, of course.

And thus endeth, once again, my TV season rankings.

Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember: Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

Review: Dread Nation

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I didn't have to wait as long for this latest Justina Ireland book as those who read her first two books pretty quickly when they first came out. Which, from what I'm seeing, weren't that many people - certainly not as many as there would be now that Ireland's given us her most commercially successful book yet, peaking at #5 on the New York Times YA bestseller list, if I remember correctly. And now those many people, myself included, have a while to wait until Ireland gives us the sequel to Dread Nation - a wait which I'll be pretty impatiently hoping to see end ASAP.

Ireland here gives us a very well-realized alternate history, where the turning point was the rise of the undead during the Civil War. After that, the Civil War ended a little sooner than expected, and with, officially, the end of slavery as the South realized they had a little something more worth dealing with than maintaining their old systems. But in the intervening seventeen years before this book takes place, there's risen a new government, a new society, a new America that still hasn't learned to, you know, not be bloody racist. "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss" and all that. So the new political system in this new shambler-run America consists of the Survivalists - white supremacists who insist that black and Native people should be the ones responsible for keeping all the white people safe in their walled-off cities, and with Nazi-esque colors before the Nazis ever happened too! - and the Egalitarians, who proclaim equality but don't do much to fight for it, especially since they're also self-proclaimed "pacifists" who don't even want to use guns.

Sound familiar?

I'll let you fill in the blanks.

Maybe Ireland's social commentary doesn't quite hit all the marks - Debbie Reese, for one, has outlined in great detail the book's failings re: Native American history and oppression. But for Ireland's real area of expertise - putting white Americans on blast for either anti-blackness or apathy to black freedom - she's in her element like few others.

The real strength of this book, for me, is the lead character of Jane McKeene. #ownvoices in multiple ways, as a bisexual and biracial black girl, she's also an ass-kicking destroyer of the undead, and snarks her way through all 400-plus pages of this book because, well, she is a Justina Ireland creation. Also a favorite character for me is Katherine, aka Kate. Mixed like Jane but very, very, very white-passing, Kate has a rude attitude at first, but she opens up more and more to Jane as the story goes on, and becomes a hell of a lot more sympathetic - reminding me a lot of Lydia from Teen Wolf in that respect. Kate also brings additional queer rep to the table - she's asexual, possibly aromantic as well. (Neither term is used in text, and nor is "bisexual," but that's to be expected given the alternate-historical setting when such terminology was almost certainly nonexistent anyway.)

It's a long, sometimes slow read, but it all builds up to a most interesting cliffhanger indeed. A very tantalizing hint about what lies ahead in Book 2.

Naturally, I'll be ready to read it, as well as Ireland's other new series, The Never and the Now, as soon as we get them.

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Review: Tyler Johnson Was Here

Tyler Johnson Was Here by Jay Coles
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Jay Coles may be young, but don't you dare count that against him. Not when he's got a debut novel so stark and powerful as this one. Cut from much the same cloth as All American Boys, The Hate U Give, and Dear Martin, Tyler Johnson Was Here brings Black Lives Matter to the forefront of YA once again. It's the story of two black boys, twins Tyler and Marvin Johnson, both very smart and very bright and very vivacious, but they're starting to drift apart a bit lately...and then Tyler turns up dead, and video leaks revealing it's a cop who killed him. That much is in the blurb that's been known about the book for months, but what's a little surprising is that this horrific act actually doesn't catalyze the events of the book from the beginning. Instead, it happens more in the middle. I actually appreciated that the book and its marketing were more upfront about what happens, rather than leaving it to be a twist for shock factor or something.

What really stands out about this book is that Tyler isn't a perfect angel. He makes bad choices, hangs out with the wrong people (Johntae, in particular, reeks of so much toxic masculinity.) Still, though, winding up dead for his choices wouldn't happen...in a just world. Which, of course, is precisely the point.

But Tyler and Marvin, they're the kind of characters who pop off the page. Marvin, of course, has to because he's the narrator, but Tyler, as his old womb-mate...well, nobody else can tell Tyler's story the way Marvin can. And all the while, despite the nastiness Marvin gets from the police and Principal Dodson and the like, he's got a great support system from his friends G-mo and Ivy, as well as his girlfriend Faith, and of course his parents. Though we only get to see the twins' dad through letters written from prison, he shows his love just as strongly as Mama does.

The best parts of the book, for me, are the little things in life for which Marvin shows such appreciation. His being a fanboy - specifically, of A Different World, and building on that, his application to Howard University (the other big roll call in this book, other than the names of police brutality victims with Tyler Johnson included, being famous Howard alumni like Taraji P. Henson.) The love of family and friends. And, hell, I couldn't resist a nice chuckle at Marvin talking about "unapologetically masturbating." Wish I could know how that feels, lol.

There's a lot left open at the end of this book, but that works very well for it, because it shows better, and more implicitly, how much work needs to be done to right the wrongs done by racism to this society.

Whatever Jay Coles writes next, you'll be damned sure I'm reading it as soon as possible.

Now to get my work to finally stock this book. My friends and I have now tried TWICE to bring Tyler Johnson to our bosses' attention. Hopefully we won't have to wait for the third time to be the charm on that front.

P.S. I actually had a character named Tyler Jackson in my own books, but after I found out this book was coming out, I decided to rename my character to avoid confusion if and when I ever get published.

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Review: Frat Girl

Frat Girl by Kiley Roache
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

TW for this book: sexism, homophobia, racism, references to rape.

Working at the Stanford Bookstore, seeing this one on the shelves with all copies signed by Roache herself was enough to get my attention. Especially when I found out Roache is a Stanford student and is there any chance I could've greeted her at the store entrance and not even realized? Maybe. If so, it'd be a real honor to meet such a terrific author.

Frat Girl takes the reader to Warren University - a pretty thinly-disguised Stanford - and has us see life there through the eyes of new sociology student Cassie, whose scholarship is all but dependent on a pretty ambitious project. Her plan: join a frat, and not just any frat, but one whose Warren chapter is on the point of dissolution due to a history of shitty sexist frat-bro behavior. There, she'll get to study, firsthand, the bonds of male friendship, and see whether or not they're really as bad as their image suggests.

Well, a lot of them kinda are. There's quite a lot of sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. to go around among many of the unenlightened, even unwashed masses that populate this frat.

But they do have their good sides too, as Cassie eventually discovers while infiltrating them.

And there's some who are far more good than the rest. I'm looking at you, Jordan. More on him later.

The real genius of this book is how complex and morally grey it really is. As much as Cassie's supposed to maintain journalist-like neutrality as part of this experiment, her heart frequently gets the better of her, as I'm glad it does. The majority of the bros may be, well, bros - big old jackasses. But then witness the scene where, after Cassie has a bad hookup with a guy in another frat (who insults her horribly when she eventually refuses his advances), her chosen fraternity actually takes it upon themselves to avenge the wrongs done to her, personally. Cassie doesn't much like the sorority girls - she can claim it's part of a character she plays, a role of a girl who gets along better as "one of the guys," but she's not entirely faking it - but eventually gets called out by a black sorority girl for painting them all with the broad "basic white girl" brush.

It's one of those kinds of books where there's no easy answers - which makes sense, given that it straddles the line between YA and NA.

Perhaps the best thing about this book for me was the dynamic between Cassie and Jordan. I shipped them almost immediately and really loved the way their relationship developed - a bumpy ride, to be sure, but not a tragic one either. And on different levels, I related to them both. Cassie's way of looking at social interactions as experiments resonated with me because, as an autistic guy, I often feel like that's the only way I can socialize, by seeing all interactions as experiments. Not to mention Cassie being raised Catholic - though my family's not quite as conservative as hers, they're still just so enough that it leads to a lot of friction between me and them.

And then there's Jordan, who, in my mind, is an even better-looking Andrew Garfield (and as a fellow possessor of them, I gotta say, brown eyes for the win!) He's the kind of guy I would love to grow up to be: charming, sensitive, sweet, not at all uncomfortable with showing his body...but still, just restrained enough that making the first move actually petrifies him. (Though in his case, I think he's far less likely than I am to face the sting of rejection pretty much every time, lol.) And while we're on the subject of Spideys, he's got a little of Tom Holland in his characterization too. The actor, not the character. Because until he meets Cassie, he's not seen a single Star Wars movie. Ever.

(Verily, there is a Stiles GIF for every occasion. Fight me on this.)

I don't know if there's going to be a sequel to this, but with the ending as open as it was, I'd be surprised if there weren't.

Whatever comes next, though, count on me watching Roache's career with great interest.

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Review: After the Shot Drops

After the Shot Drops by Randy Ribay
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Paired pretty closely with my first reading of All American Boys, this book is very similar in style, though centered on slightly different themes. There's not so much to do with police brutality here, and the two narrators are far more closely connected than Reynolds and Kiley's, being lifelong best friends...until now, when Bunny's transferred to a high-end Catholic private school and Nasir feels left behind. And that's just the beginning of the chips Nasir has on his shoulder when it comes to Bunny - he also feels like Bunny took "his" girl away from him when Keyona was, of course, never "his" in the first place. And then when Nasir's cousin Wallace gets in trouble and Bunny's involved, like it or not...well, I won't spoil you, but the ending, in particular, will leave you GASPING.

After the Shot Drops is my first, and certainly not my last, taste of Randy Ribay's talent. There are a lot of characters with which he populates this book, and a lot of thoughts provoked. St. Sebastian's school may have some level of diversity - it put a smile on my face to know there's an out gay dude on the basketball team - but still, Bunny feels very much unwelcome there as a black boy, and even further, he gets a lot of people looking at him like he's a sellout trying to break away from his community. (Nas included.)

The best part of this book is that Ribay doesn't try to paint either of his protagonists as total angels. Both Nasir and Bunny are flawed in their own ways - deeply so, even - and yet, they both deserve everything to go right for them in the end. Which, of course, is easier said than done.

Whenever Ribay comes out with a new book, you'll be sure I'll get ahold of it as soon as possible. Until then, I'll have to see if my library happens to carry An Infinite Number of Parallel Universes.

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