Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - Don't Ever Say Marvel Has No Heart. Ever. Again.

 **NO SPOILERS FOR WAKANDA FOREVER, BUT SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MCU MOVIES AND SHOWS ABOUND WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

T'Challa is dead.

Long live the king.

You know you're in for a vibranium spear to the feels when this movie opens with Shuri scrambling in her lab to synthesize the heart-shaped herb, lost when Killmonger burned the whole crop in the first Black Panther movie almost a full five years ago, in a last-ditch attempt to save her ailing brother T'Challa. Not unlike Chadwick Boseman in real life, T'Challa dies very suddenly of a terminal illness which no one had known about, and by the time it became clear, it was too late.

Then cue the Marvel Studios logo, the same specifically Black Panther edition which Disney+ placed on the streaming version of the first film in Boseman's honor, with the logo background in purple instead of red.

Total silence.

Don't reach for your popcorn.

And if you think that's the most intense tearjerker this movie has to offer, just you bloody wait.

As T'Challa once famously said, "This never gets old."

Thor: Love and Thunder - Taika's Still Bloody Got It.

 **NO SPOILERS FOR LOVE AND THUNDER, BUT SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS THOR AND AVENGERS MOVIES ABOUND WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

Sounds like Marvel fatigue is setting in for a fair few fans, to the point where even when the apotheotic maestro of Ragnarok, Taika Waititi, returns with his latest Asgardian adventure, it's become a little too popular to rag on the movie just to rag on it.

I have to say, to the fans who've been dumping on this movie, kindly go eat a hammer. Taika Waititi's back and better than ever, and I'd like to say that his newest movie actually improves on Ragnarok in a few key respects.

Maybe it's not a perfect improvement. Maybe it does have its flaws.

But for Thor 4: More Thor (great, thanks for making me quote Gina Bloody Peretti), Love and Thunder is an unabashed cosmic rock-n-roll adventure with some genuine heart, and this time, Waititi even does a better job of sticking the balance between comedy and tragedy.

Taika's got another alien rainbow for you to taste...

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: So Many Maestri, So Little Time

***NO SPOILERS FOR MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS, BUT SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MARVEL MOVIES AND TV SHOWS - ESPECIALLY WANDAVISION, NO WAY HOME, INFINITY WAR, AND THE ORIGINAL DOCTOR STRANGE ABOUND WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

Maybe in an alternate section of our multiverse, this Doctor Strange sequel would've dropped in May 2021 like nature intended. And maybe Scott Derrickson would've still been able to direct?

But no, the version we got comes to us from another horror maestro, one who also has well-established previous experience in the world of superheroes. And I just can't imagine how anyone could've done this movie better justice than Sam Raimi in the director's chair. With a touch of the old Spider-Man style from the 2000s - Raimi gets a fair few fight scenes choreographed in such a way that Tobey Maguire would feel right at home if he ever got the chance to pop through one of Strange's sling ring portals again - and a generous helping of Raimi's Evil Dead vibes, plus the welcome returns of Danny Elfman behind the conductor's stand and Bruce Campbell getting another most memorable cameo?

All on a backdrop of multiversal shenanigans to rival Fringe, or even Agents of SHIELD - which I do highly recommend you catch up on, especially since Season 4 was the first intro to a key concept around which this film revolves.

It's Raimi's funhouse. We're all just running through it.

"Things just got out of hand..."

Spider-Man: No Way Home: NO. SPOILERS.

***WELL, FOR SURE SPOILERS FOR FAR FROM HOME AND A FEW FOR INFINITY WAR AND ENDGAME. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

It's finally here, the Marvel event we've most been waiting for this chaotic calendar year. Tom Holland back in the Spidey-suit after Far From Home upended him into the same not-so-secret nature of identity as pretty much every other Marvel Cinematic Universe version of our classic heroes. Thanks, Mysterio. And thanks, J. Jonah Jameson, played once again by J.K. Simmons - and, in this latest movie, graduating from being a mere Alex-Jones-type nuisance to running his own Fox-News-type operation of big bullshit. Naturally, it's bad enough for Peter Parker trying to live with too much polarizing infamy for his own good when he's just trying to get into college, but as the lives of his friends and family become impacted, who better to turn to than our favorite Strange sorcerer (not Supreme, though; Wong having taken that post "on a technicality" due to Strange having been one of the victims of Thanos' snap, which I still refuse to call the bloody "Blip" to this day) in his nice little townhouse of a Sanctum Sanctorum?

But.

As OP as Strange so often is these days, he's no match for the Peter Parker Prattle, ruining the spell to wipe literally everyone's memories of Peter due to Peter fretting about the implications of losing his place in the memories of his loved ones.

Lost in the multiverse, and lost in mind, we shall soon be.

With No Way Home.

Where's Ned and MJ when you need them for a snuggle puddle?

I shall spoil nothing of the movie in this review, but that means it'll have to be kept short by design - not unlike, say, my review of Endgame a couple years back. 

Eternals: Ignore The Anti-Hype, Please.

**NO SPOILERS FOR ETERNALS, BUT SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MCU MOVIES APPEAR WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.**

For the third time this calendar year, Marvel gifts us with a long-delayed movie, and this time, it's rather unusual this time in that we also have the first officially "Rotten" MCU movie on Rotten Tomatoes, earning only 48% at the time of this writing. Well, I'm here to tell you that in a world where the likes of Thor: The Dark World exist, and where Amazing Spider-Man 2 is also rated "Rotten," such classification is seriously misleading about Marvel's latest. It ain't a perfect movie, but it keeps up pretty well with Marvel tradition - stunning visuals, all-star casting, a left-field choice of director previously known more for low-budget and/or indie fare (and while Chloé Zhao is a well-deserved Oscar winner now, it still feels like quite the leap from Nomadland to Eternals), and an increasing commitment to diversity of talent before and behind the camera.

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings: Studies In Duality

 **NO SPOILERS FOR SHANG-CHI, BUT MAJOR SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MCU FILMS  - ESPECIALLY IRON MAN 3 - ABOUND WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.**

Despite the world (at least, in certain areas already predisposed to it) largely returning to past levels of Covid caution, I'm fortunate enough to still be able to go to the movies with all necessary precautions, and especially now that Disney has decided not to follow suit with the pattern set by Black Widow and do a hybrid release for their next Marvel tentpole. Whether it was because they were afraid star Simu Liu might take a page from Scarlett Johannson's book and sue for lost profits (though as outspoken as Liu can be, I doubt this would be a battle he'd pick) or because they think it might hasten a cultural return to normalcy (a sentiment I might be able to appreciate even if many around me wouldn't), who knows.

But for this second of four MCU movies to drop in 2021, Marvel pulls out all the visual stops in such a way as to justify the cost of the theater tickets.

Ten rings, but at least ten times as many distinct powers.

Black Widow: Marvel Takes Us Back To The Movies

 **MINOR SPOILERS FOR BLACK WIDOW, PLUS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MCU FILMS  - ESPECIALLY CIVIL WAR, INFINITY WAR, AND ENDGAME - ABOUND WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.**

It's been a minute.

After most of 2020 saw the movie theaters closed for months at a time (depending on where you live, of course, but I still lived in California at the time so maaaaaaaybe one or two months open was the best we got, and I didn't even go back there then, not even for Tenet like I'd really been hoping), 2021 is looking to be the year when, with the help of various hybrid theatrical/streaming releases and most people (assuming you can trust their Insta and/or dating app profiles anyway) taking their Covid vaccines, the box office starts finally coming back to life.

And so far, the biggest boon in this year's cultural story has been, naturally, the swan song of the great Scarlett Johansson's performance as Natasha Romanoff, going back to before her untimely death in Endgame to a period between Civil War and Infinity War when she was still on the run for violating the Sokovia Accords (and especially for assaulting the King of Wakanda, according to Secretary Ross in an early scene as he tries to apprehend her.) While it's no longer technically the start to Phase Four of the MCU like nature intended - that honor goes to WandaVision now, and all its bonkers sitcom pastiches, deep explorations of the persistence of grief, and gleeful pokes in the eye to all the fans and their theories (to the point where it almost feels like the writers deliberately made...adjustments...to torpedo the theories with extreme prejudice, as impossible as it would've been given the known production timelines and logistical difficulties posed in the world of Covid.) 

But for Black Widow, director Cate Shortland and a spot-on cast - particularly the supporting cast, many of whom do a great job acting circles around ScarJo and making promising cases for their own movies and TV shows further down the line - serve up a damn fine thriller in the vein of Mission: Impossible - a little more grounded than most Marvel productions, but still, never losing sight of where to spend all the money Disney racked up in the last few years.

Where one family leaves, another awaits.

Spider-Man: Far From Home - "The Owls Are Not What They Seem..."

...but neither are any of the other animals.

***NO SPOILERS FOR FAR FROM HOME, BUT SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MCU FILMS, ESPECIALLY HOMECOMING, INFINITY WAR, AND ENDGAME, ABOUND HEREIN. FURTHER SPOILERS ABOUND FOR AGENTS OF SHIELD, AS WELL AS NON-MCU SPIDER-MAN FILMS, INCLUDING THE RAIMI TRILOGY AND AMAZING SERIES. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

Just like Ant-Man three years ago, here we get a more lighthearted coda to a phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe to follow a bombastic, intense, unremitting actioner of an Avengers movie. And after the bittersweet ending of Endgame, what better antidote than Tom Holland getting, once again, to be the sunniest exemplar yet of doing whatever a spider can?

Avengers: Endgame - Throw It All At The Wall And See What Sticks? Everything. (Almost.)

***NO SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME, BUT SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MCU FILMS - ESPECIALLY INFINITY WAR AND ANT-MAN AND THE WASP, ABOUND WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

It all ends here.

Well, not really. There's more. We know there's more.

But yes, this 22nd film of the Marvel Cinematic Universe brings to a close Book One - the Infinity Saga - after eleven years of entertainment and ever-decreasing patience on the part of we the fans.

And if you don't let the inevitable plot holes brought on by the very premise of this one bring you down, well, you're in for a hell of a ride.

"Whatever it takes," Cap says. And he's soooo right.

Captain Marvel: Sorry Spark, But Team Instinct's Got A New Leader Now

***NO SPOILERS FOR CAPTAIN MARVEL, BUT SPOILERS FOR OTHER MCU FILMS - PARTICULARLY INFINITY WAR AND GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, AS WELL AS AGENTS OF SHIELD, APPEAR HEREIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

I've been seeing a lot of conflicting responses to Captain Marvel's official MCU intro in the days since her movie came out. A lot of people saying that it was a beautiful movie to watch, but the writing wasn't so good, or that Brie Larson was miscast. At least I don't really follow any of the whole "manbabies crying foul because they hate even the slightest whiff of feminism" crowd, so nobody I knew was complaining about the movie that unjustifiably. But I was told to lower my expectations and everything would be more enjoyable that way. Maybe I did just a little. But I still found it, like Aquaman, a case of the trailers being deceptively not the best, and the movie itself actually being pretty damn good - bar a few flaws, of course.

Ready to fly, Captain? I know I sure am.

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse - Hate To Say It, But Did Sony Actually Get One Right?

***THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE REVIEW.***

Well, this was a terrible movie to watch...

...on a day when I'd been fighting off some kind of tension headache.

What, did you think I was going to do what a small number of assbutts did by contributing to the loss of this movie's perfect 100 on Rotten Tomatoes? Perish the thought. Though the two Amazing Spider-Man movies remain my favorite Spidey-films ever purely because of how much Andrew Garfield mirrored my own personality - and because of how much he and Emma Stone, as Gwen Stacy, formed the platinum standard for fictional ships for my own writing to aspire to - Into the Spider-Verse, our film debut for numerous incarnations of webslingers including the great Miles Morales, is a smaller, and yet bigger, masterpiece of cinematic awesome.

Also: god DAMN, I wish those kicks of his weren't so spendy IRL.

Ant-Man And The Wasp: Mind. Bent.

***NO SPOILERS FOR ANT-MAN AND THE WASP, BUT SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MCU FILMS WILL APPEAR WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

The first Ant-Man movie, three years ago, was refreshingly different from most of the rest of the MCU, being centered on the West Coast instead of the East and also, to a degree not shown in any previous MCU movie up to that point besides Guardians of the Galaxy, being very humor-oriented without sacrificing a great deal of heart in the process. It also served as a coda to Phase Two, following up on a game-changing episode in Age of Ultron. Here, the stakes are a little different. Ant-Man and the Wasp isn't a coda to Phase Three - that phase still has a year to go yet! Instead, it builds up to an ending that ties this latest San Francisco side trip back to Infinity War and its legendarily Rick Riordan-grade cliffhanger. But until that point, this movie continues the stylistic and emotional trend of its predecessor, heavy on heart and humor both and also managing to outdo the first Ant-Man in the visual department.

Golder than the gate in the center of the poster, accurately reflecting just how killer fun this movie is.

Deadpool 2: A Filthy, Foul-Mouthed Family

***WARNING: NO SPOILERS FOR DEADPOOL 2, BUT NSFW LANGUAGE ABOUNDS. IT'S DEADPOOL, AFTER ALL.***

So, Ricks, it's been two years and some since we last talked. In that time, you've expanded your four-part fantasy series to seven books - holy Harry Potter, Batman! - and come out of the closet - bully for you, my brave bi boi! 💗💜💙

Thanks, DP. Well, my family doesn't know yet, but that's because they're phobic as hell.

Fuckin' A. I know that feel. Imagine how my dirty douchebag daddy would react when he found out he'd shot up sperm to make a pan boi like me.

Your dad's all but dead to you, though, isn't he?

For that and many other reasons. But back on subject, my dude. You've made some accomplishments in life - you've even got a job hand-selling books at a prestigious institution of higher learning now, and I understand you've sold some of my shit while you're at it.

Helps that for this one in particular, I've got a real-life bromance now. Even if he's hundreds of miles away.

Ohhhhh, I know which bro you're talking about. ;) Honestly, sincerely, I hope you get to meet him someday. That'll be a nice summer break for you, you know?

It would.

But there's one thing I still need to ask you, something very fucking important...

I'm not marrying you, man, no matter how cute and perky your ass is.

Maybe it is. But yours too, am I right? *reaches around to grab mine*

*slide away because he didn't fucking ask any more than he asked Colossus in the movie*

Hey, wait, I thought you said no spoilers.

That's hardly a spoiler. Not like when-

*covers my mouth*

*bite his hand* -lake-

*covers my mouth again*

*bite his hand again* -wilder-

*covers my mouth again* You know I can fucking heal, right? Biting my hand only turns me on, you cocksucking little-

*put my middle finger into his eyehole, forgetting I haven't trimmed my nails in forever*

GAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Dick move, Rickenstein!

You want a real dick move? *grab for his balls*

*swats my hand away* Nuh-uh! You stay back till you've learned to handle another man's junk like it's your own!

Great. Now you're just quoting my manuscript.

You're goddamn right I am. I'm a fanboy, I'll speak in Ricky quotes as fluently as the next one. Oh, here's another one: "So, uh, who tops first? You top first, I top first?" Brilliant Poe Dameron reference on that one. I can see why you've used it twice. And to answer that question, you top first.

Oh really? Well, that's awful sweet of you.

But I'm the top around here. I'm only doing you a solid 'cause you're still a virgin. Which finally brings me back to my point. How in the motherfucking everloving shitballs are you still a virgin? At your age?

Jesus Christ. I knew you'd go there. And after all your Château de Virgin jokes in the movie too.

But that's all they are, though. Jokes. I'm a literal motherfucking joke machine. That's my real superpower. Even those stupid bloody power-dampener collars - ain't no safe word when they put those on you, just sayin' - they can't stop my motor mouth. And believe me, I may crack a bunch of virgin jokes, but we all know one thing - there ain't nobody in Xavier's place still a virgin above a certain age.

'Cept me, if I go there, ever.

Nah, I'll move you over to the Avengers' place. Black Widow would sleep with you and stick a needle in your neck-

You're very tempting me. I'm not kidding.

Whereas Thor, he'd be a cuddle monster and tell you all these hilarious-ass stories about the old country. I speak from experience on this. ;)

I do love a Hemsworth. And cuddling.

Thunder-Arms gives the best cuddles this side of Vanessa, trust me.

Another line of mine you're pilfering? And a deep cut from my fanfics, too.

Cute of you to notice. All honesty, though? You being a virgin doesn't make you less of a human. It actually makes you more, mostly 'cause it may or may not have turned you into a writing wizard. *takes my hands* That said, Ricky Pinecone...you still need to get fucking laid.

In my own time.

*pats my cheek* Thatsaboi.

Now I feel less like a tool for telling you to leave so I can get to the meat of this review-

You mean the part where you award it an A+ and compliment all the broad-spectrum feels and unexpectedly complex characters? *holds up pics of Cable and Russell, especially*

Actually, I'm giving it an A just because a few of those twists rubbed me the wrong way. Like, they didn't gel with the general tone of the movie as well as they should have-

Come on. You've played a few of those same twists yourself.

In new and inventive ways that feel less...one-sided.

*shrugs* Point.

And yes, a lot of characters are unexpectedly complex. And then there are some that just don't get the screentime they deserve-

Peter, amirite? Only 'cause the script originally called for your sweet little Patronus, but Holland was busy on Titan and Garfield was busy shooting some pretentious-ass pseudo-Hitchcock thing where he wanted to fuck this girl that looked like his old girl-

Took the words right out of my mouth.

*holds up notecard* Want 'em back? I'll season 'em with curry first!

That's okay, I'm trying to take up more protein than fiber in my diet.

As you wish.

But you know who deserves her own solo movie? Domino. Because she's got the best superpower in the whole damn X-Force-

Mmm...I suppose...

And even better, the way they write it! She may have a lot of luck, but lucky twists that happen in the moment, they can still have..."unfortunate" consequences down the line.

Well...that's not lazy writing.

See? You're warming up to her yet.

Of course I am. She's awe and some and I'll be happy to get a glorified cameo in her own movie. I'll be her luck for a moment, play bump-ass with a car door before she motorbikes by, or something like that.

I like the way you think, Wadey. That's why you get an A from me.

And that's why I love you the most of any of my fans, Ricky. *pulls mask up and waits for me to kiss him, which I do*

I'll leave it up to y'all to decide who's the Garfield and who's the Stone here.

Of course I'm Emma. Nobody else can be Andy Russell like you, brother. Oh hey, can I say the last part of your goodbye this time?

Sure thing, man. Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember: Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

Avengers: Infinity War - "I Don't Feel So Good..."

***NO SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR, BUT SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MCU FILMS APPEAR WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED: THANOS DEMANDS YOUR SILENCE.***

If you think the quote I'm using as the subtitle of this review is an indication that I didn't, in fact, like Avengers: Infinity War, you couldn't be more wrong. I'm just using that line because, while I can't explain the exact context of its delivery without a massive spoiler (and I have to cut out the name of the character to whom it's addressed, because that address alone is a spoiler in and of itself), it was part and parcel of the single most devastating scene in the entire movie, for sure the most devastating since the ending of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, and that's saying something. After ten years of buildup, does Infinity War end the MCU? Well, no. But it does shake things up so enormously that it's a good thing we only have to wait one year, instead of three, for the next Avengers movie. Next, and likely last, but still, it'll be too long a wait.

Look at everyone ready to fight Thanos - or, to paraphrase and embellish on Stark's dialogue, the Diseased Purple Nutsack.

You know this movie's the most serious business the MCU's given us yet when, instead of the usual soaring Michael Giacchino theme that plays over the Marvel Studios opening logo, we instead hear a distress call from the ship carrying all the Asgardians fleeing the destruction of their homeworld in Ragnarok six months ago. And the logo slowly gets a black background instead of the usual red one. And then it all jumps to the flaming wreckage of the ship, with so much death and destruction already, and no less than two major characters die on screen at Thanos' hand before this opening scene is over.

Yeah...that one Ragnarok post-credits scene was a little funny until Thanos showed up, and then we were all, "Oh crap." But now it's far less funny. In fact, this movie is so radically different from all previous Marvel movies, the most unremitting and intense yet, that it actually makes all the others look naive and silly in hindsight, knowing that, up to now, this is what it all leads up to. The movie where the impossible happens - all the Infinity Stones make themselves known, everything hurts and we're all dying, and, most impossible of all, you're actually going to hate Star-Lord and that's a promise.

There's really not a lot to say on this movie that isn't a spoiler, so this review is gonna be a short one. All I will say is this: Marvel puts out product that meets their usual standards and then some, as expected, and are we sure Joss Whedon wasn't involved in the screenwriting of this movie? Like, at all? I mean, not that Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely can't pull off serious game-changers after Winter Soldier and Civil War, not that the Russo Brothers can't direct the hell out of said game-changing scripts with top-notch actors all over the place...but seriously, this is some Whedon-level soul-bombage. Okay, maybe it doesn't have to be Joss. Maybe Jed. Jed Whedon proved himself capable of searing our souls to ash with Agents of SHIELD Episode 4x15: "Self Control," the second-best episode in that show's history (only 5x01, "Orientation, Part 1," beats it out, and only by a narrow margin.) Sure, Agents of SHIELD is kept mostly separate from the larger MCU - though this Friday's episode does drop a tiny nugget of a hint about Infinity War when Daisy asks, "Have you seen what's happening in New York?" But I'm firmly convinced Markus and McFeely consulted with at least one Whedon on their script for this one, just from the way we get a metric ton of death, and even leaving a few emotional cracks in Thanos' armor in the process.

The ending, though.

Slow.

Goddamn.

TORTURE.

Especially when a certain someone says "I don't feel so good." You'll gasp when the first death happens in that scene, scream and swear at the screen at another, sit back numb for most of the rest of them...but one. ONE. Will make you cry all the ugly tears like Amazing Spider-Man 2 all over again.

Not to mention that one death when even Thanos cries.

And also the scene where one character literally begs for their own future death. I shit you not.

To Infinity War, I give an A grade - likely to be bumped up to an A+ once it's properly paired with next year's conclusion, which better set this house in order because there's no way all those deaths are going to stick.

This could NOT have been the only way.

Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember: Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

Black Panther: In Which Wakanda Is The World's Role Model

***NO SPOILERS FOR BLACK PANTHER, BUT SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS MCU MOVIES, ESPECIALLY CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR, ABOUND HEREIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

As I said last time I reviewed a Marvel Cinematic Universe movie, it says a lot that the weakest link of the third phase so far has been Doctor Strange. And with the first of three big 2018 MCU releases now out and dazzling the world, Black Panther continues that trend of MCU excellence. But it also highlights black excellence every step of the way, with a good 80% or so of the cast being black, and much of the crew from director and co-writer Ryan Coogler on down as well. On a mission to impress Marvel fans and everyone else, nobody's slacking off, not in the slightest.

This king stands poised to change the world.

Though we've seen allusions to Wakanda pop in and out of previous Marvel movies, most notably in Age of Ultron when we first met Afrikaner arms dealer and vibranium thief Ulysses Klaue, it was in Civil War where we first got ourselves a hint of the magnificence Black Panther's homeland had to offer. A hint, or two, but nothing more than that, except maybe in the post-credits scene where we got to see Bucky Barnes go into cryo-sleep in a secret Wakandan lab. Other than that, there's no sign of just how advanced Wakanda is, blessed by the cosmos as it was when a vibranium meteorite impacted there hundreds, if not thousands, of years ago. Blessed...to a point. As outlined in the movie's very first sequence, Wakanda's several tribes fought over possession of the vibranium until one warrior set out from the rest of the pack and, aided by a purple heart-shaped herb that enhanced his strength and agility, took leadership as the first Black Panther. Most of the tribes, save one, united with him and formed the Wakanda we know today - highly advanced and prosperous, but also hiding itself from the rest of the world for fear that outsiders, were they to know the truth, would come in and exploit Wakanda just as was done to the rest of Africa and other parts of the world.

It's this precise combination of fear and pride that shapes much of the movie thematically. Though Wakanda was never colonized by any Western powers, for many years the leadership has insisted on maintaining strict isolation. That isolation is already starting to break down as the movie begins proper, only a week after the explosion that killed T'Chaka in Civil War and left T'Challa to take his father's place as ruler.

Of course, it's not that simple, and while Civil War sets us up to think that T'Challa just gets the power as part of a familial dynasty, there's a lot more to it that's been saved for this movie. The aforementioned heart-shaped herb, for one thing - which makes it clear that as badass as T'Challa was the first time we saw him, he wasn't even at full potential. Not to mention how, at his coronation, he must stand before relatives and representatives of the other tribes and accept challenges of ritual combat from any who offers one. Only one does - M'Baku, leader of the mountain tribe which broke away from the rest of Wakanda and pretty much only comes down from their own isolation just to throw a wrench in what could otherwise have been a pretty smooth ceremony unanimously approved by all else in attendance. M'Baku and T'Challa fight in a very small pool of water perched at the edge of a waterfall, halfway up the walls of a massive canyon. Here, Coogler brings his experience directing Creed to the table - a fight scene in a pretty spacious area with numerous spectators, but the actual space for the fight is confined and dangerous. It certainly helps that the two men's respective guards keep narrowing a semicircle around them, their spears pointed in the whole time. But again, M'Baku is here more for disruption than anything else, to give the movie a chance to showcase some of its greatest strengths. Not only action, but natural beauty in all the ways.

It's only later, of course, that T'Challa gets a more serious threat to face. Not so much Klaue, who spends his time in the movie having a ball and hamming it up like he's some kind of big-name mogul. (He's actually pretty funny most of the time, at least until he starts saying some pretty racist stuff against the Wakandans and then nobody's laughing.) No, the real villain of this piece is Erik Stevens, aka Killmonger, who's got a surprising connection to Wakanda all his own but otherwise lives like an American. Without getting into spoilers, let's just say that he's one of the best villains in the MCU not only on the strength of Michael B. Jordan's kickass performance (when isn't he kickass, though?), but also because of his sympathetic backstory, rooted in an incident that took place when he was a boy in Oakland in 1992. (It's a very nice touch on Coogler's part, going back to his own Oakland roots.) And because (even though I'm not at all sure he means it) he talks a good game about changing the world and improving the lives of the downtrodden.

That's the biggest theme of the movie by far - a sort of "with great power comes great responsibility" but for entire nations. Wakanda, though prosperous, is secretly flawed, with a history of its most powerful men making some pretty terrible decisions for the good of the kingdom. Just like when Taika Waititi, as a Maori, filtered Thor: Ragnarok through a strong anti-imperialist lens and added quite a bit of Aboriginal-pride imagery, Black Panther showcases the continuing repercussions of colonialism and teaches that maybe the right solution isn't to add to a perpetual cycle of war, but to break down walls and pursue an agenda in favor of the collective, not the individual, greater good. Further underlining these themes are the differences in reactions to Killmonger between the men and women of Wakanda in general. Many of the men in T'Challa's inner circle have a way of cleaving to tradition at all costs. T'Challa's closest women advisers, however, tend to challenge tradition, are more loyal and dependable, and also prove to be dynamic, outside-the-box thinkers. None more so than Shuri, of course. Letitia Wright, as T'Challa's sharp-witted, whip-smart sister, carries more scenes than almost anyone else who's come before her in the MCU. She needs to meet her fellow MCU genii yesterday - Stark, Banner, FitzSimmons, and of course Daisy Freaking Johnson would all love to work with her, and she could help them all save the world in two seconds flat.

About the only flaws I can spot in this movie are really small ones - a bit of an overlength problem, but no more so than a lot of previous two-and-a-half-hour MCU tours, and also how some pieces of CGI (like a climactic fight sequence on the maglev train tracks in Wakanda's main vibranium mine) look a bit unfinished. Other than that, however, Black Panther has no problem securing its status as Marvel's latest A-grade masterpiece, thematically resonant and crafted with painstaking attention to detail. That attention will come in handy for further Black Panther films, and especially if and when Marvel commissions someone to write some damn good fantasy novels that allow us to really explore all of Wakanda.

Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember: Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

Thor: Ragnarok - The Thunderous Apotheosis Of Taika Waititi

"We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow..."
-Led Zeppelin, "Immigrant Song"

***THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE REVIEW.***

It says a lot that of all the Phase 3 films of the Marvel Cinematic Universe thus far, the weakest link is Doctor Strange and, for once, neither a Thor nor a Hulk film. (Well, aside from the perpetually annoying timeline error of Spider-Man: Homecoming, but that's neither here nor there.) Thor: Ragnarok not only bucks that weakest-link-of-each-phase trend for both Thor and Hulk, but also soars above the pack to become not only the best Thor film of all, but also one of the best of the MCU overall. With Taika Waititi and his high quirk factor helming this voyage, there's no shortage of what we've all come to expect from the MCU - alien oddities, hammy acting, spot-on humor (most of the time - sadly, there are a few moments where the jokes are ill-timed and fall flatter than flat), the perpetually tense dynamic between Thor and Loki, and some of the MCU's most terrific action scenes yet.

Taste the alien rainbow.

While previous Thor entries rely heavily on Shakespearean melodrama, and end up often feeling pretty generic and forgettable otherwise, Ragnarok, in spite of its apocalyptic name, dials up the humor and action all the way. Not that either of the first two films failed in the humor department, especially, but this one feels like the first time where the filmmakers genuinely have our amusement as a top priority. Perhaps a little too much so - as I said earlier, a few of the jokes don't quite work. Heck, even the movie's bittersweet ending (quite akin to Guardians Vol. 2, in fact) gets a tad ruined by a joke from the mouth of the master himself, Taika Waititi. But most of these jokes will get the entire theater roaring with laughter, guaranteed, so at least Marvel's doing their job right 95% of the time with this one. Naturally, the trailers already spoiled some of the best moments...

"YES!!!!! We know each other! He's a friend from work!"

But there are also some very good funny moments that the trailers do not spoil, and I will spoil none of them myself. Well, except for Hulk, after he inevitably reverts back to Banner, being forced to wear some threads from Tony Stark's wardrobe (don't ask), and among them is a T-shirt bearing the image of Duran Duran's Rio album cover. That shirt is just one of many bits of 80s influence on this movie - turns out the retro-themed title on the trailers and posters, as well as the frequent use of classic Zeppelin and a heavily synth-driven score from Devo's very own Mark Mothersbaugh, foreshadow a product tailor-made to ride the recently rising wave of 80s nostalgia.

As the above GIF and the array of colorful teaser posters indicates, this movie is one of the most colorful yet in the MCU, building on the style of Guardians of the Galaxy and going for an even more vibrant style than any other. It's perhaps halfway between Guardians and the overblown color-splosion of the Suicide Squad ad campaign, a pretty happy medium and perfectly timed to come exactly a year after the MCU's other most unique visual treat yet, Doctor Strange. Speaking of Strange, he cameos in this movie, building on the promise of Thor's appearance in Strange's own mid-credits scene, and helps provide one of the best highlights simply because of how he even manages to catch powerful Asgardians Thor and Loki off guard. Also catching them off guard is Hela, the long-lost goddess of death, played by Cate Blanchett with less ham than her unforgettable role as Irina Spalko in Crystal Skull, but more visual panache and badassery. She proves pretty damn difficult to beat, especially for Thor and Loki as they wind up sidetracked elsewhere for much of the movie (as much as you gotta love the Bartertown-esque environment of Sakaar, and also Jeff Goldbum channeling his inner David Bowie for what may well be his most iconic role yet, the Sakaar scenes do feel a bit padded to bring the movie to a well over two-hour runtime), not helped by the fact that she's also their long-lost sister, lending a Holmes-sibs air to their dynamic - Thor is Sherlock, Loki is Mycroft, and Hela is Eurus.

Perhaps the most impactful scenes are those where Hela bursts back onto the scene in Asgard and starts laying waste to everything. She's not just destroying Asgard, but unveiling the whitewashed secrets of Asgard's history, particularly where Odin and his rise to power are concerned. It's hard not to read these scenes as an implicit rebuke of current American culture and its tendency to pretend that what's in the past is simply in the past and has no impact on today, and knowing Waititi, I wouldn't be surprised if this was intentional. As much as I love the Marvel movies, I have to really take my hat off to Waititi with this one, because it's surprisingly rare that there's such a thoughtful theme underlying it all. A theme that makes me actually lowkey scared this movie's (bittersweet) epilogue could somehow prove prophetic. But with this thoughtfulness gives me hope that Waititi gets a lot more jobs in Hollywood going forward. Starting, if not with a follow-up to this film, with an adaptation of a most well-deserving book. Red Rising comes especially to mind.

The third time proves to be the charm for Thor's section of the franchise, delivering an A-grade movie that proves brawny and brainy and charming all at once, the perfect combination of Thor and Hulk and Valkyrie. Yes, Valkyrie. Can't forget her. Tessa Thompson's character, though a shade or two underwritten, is every bit as awesome as the other two lead heroes, and Loki of course. Just look at the scene where she cuts down a swarm of Sakaarian junk collectors with her craft's machine guns while drunk off her ass. Can I have Valkyrie as my Jaeger copilot? Please please pretty please?

Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember: Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

Spider-Man: Homecoming - Holland Swings Out Of Garfield's Shadow

***THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE REVIEW.***

"Hey! Ho! Let's go!"
-The Ramones, "Blitzkrieg Bop"

If you read my blog with any level of religiosity, then you know that I, Ricky Pine, am the last of the great Andrew Garfield stans, and I will defend The Amazing Spider-Man movies, bar none the biggest influences on my own writing, to my dying day. Hell, the whole reason why I started this blog in the first place was to articulate my distress and disappointment when I learned that Garfield basically got fired from the franchise and Sony was starting from scratch. Even if they were finally incorporating Spidey into the MCU like nature intended, I thought that it was a massive mistake to recast everyone, especially Garfield, whose performances mirrored me and resonated with me like nobody else before or since ever has.

Then along came Tom Holland last year in Civil War, and for his relatively limited screentime in a jam-packed movie that was basically Avengers 2.5 as opposed to merely Cap 3, he made a strong, strong impression. I thought he did a great job giving a Spidey performance very distinct from Garfield and Maguire both, though I knew I'd never find him to be as spot-on a mirror to me as Garfield simply because I'd gotten too old. And that's okay, because hey, it allowed me a chance to write the dynamic between Garfield!Spidey and Holland!Spidey in my Deadpool Syndrome fanfics as mirrors of my relationships with those characters - with Garfield being me, and Holland being like a little brother. Pesky but not annoying, a ball of pure energy, the sun to Garfield's moon.

And in his first time headlining a Spidey-film, Holland builds beautifully on that sunshine. While The Amazing Spider-Man movies (especially the second) remain my platinum standards for fictional feels, Spider-Man: Homecoming joins the likes of Guardians of the Galaxy as my platinum standard for fictional fun.

I'll hear what he's hearing.

Let's face it, if you go into this movie a student of Holland's predecessors (though I'm more of a B student at best with the Raimi trilogy, as opposed to an A student for Marc Webb's Amazing duology), you'll be doomed to endlessly compare this movie to those predecessors in every way. But that kind of comparison is sorta moot because really, Amazing and Homecoming, they're awesome apples and outlandish oranges.

Though I can tell you this much - there's a lot that Homecoming vastly improves on compared to its predecessors. The casting, no longer so overwhelmingly white, feels far more typical of the movie's New York setting. Peter isn't the loner he used to be, not when he's got a loyal Hufflepuff like Ned Leeds in his corner (and why the hell have we never heard of Jacob Batalon until now?) This movie doesn't focus on how Peter got his powers and learned to use them, not now that that storyline's been done twice (including the death of Uncle Ben, who - get this - is never even mentioned in this movie!) Flash Thompson is no longer a big jock - what he is, well, just say "Rick Castle" super-fast and you'll get the idea. (Nobody tell him, though, how surprisingly spot-on his invented nickname for Peter is, not when Peter's name, unfortunately, happens to be synonymous with "dick" in the right context.) Peter isn't paired with MJ or Gwen this time around - and while the romantic subplot between him and Liz is low-key compared to the Peter/Harry/MJ love triangle or the Stonefield-enhanced natural chemistry of Peter and Gwen, it's no worse off for it.

And the villain. Marvel had the right idea, bringing in a villain who hasn't had his time to shine in any Spidey film to date (though I hear the abandoned Spider-Man 4 from the Raimi days would've cast John Malkovich in that role.) Michael Keaton, however, is a downright deadly and awesome Vulture, up there with Ultron and Zemo and Ego and Loki on my list of Top 5 MCU villains. This owes not only to his fearsome wingsuit (you can feel the rumble when he's coming in with that unwieldy, deadly sharp monstrosity), but also to his surprisingly sympathetic motivations - the prologue reveals him to have been a contractor working salvage after the Battle of New York, only for the Damage Control team to come in and basically fire him - so, of course, he takes to the black market to undermine them in revenge, because he has a family to support, gorrammit!

(In other news, I'm now kinda glad that ABC passed on the planned Damage Control MCU work-com series, because this movie makes them look like a bunch of bureaucratic assbutts.)

When Vulture finally crosses Peter's radar, he has no choice but to go after him - but Tony Stark doesn't seem to agree. Stark is basically Peter's father figure, but like a lot of fictional fathers (including his own), Stark is distant and constantly critical of the younger guy he's supposed to be sort of mentoring (and STILL hitting on May, because, well, he's Stark.) That said, though, he's given Peter a suit full of nifty little gizmos and gadgets, including an AI whom Peter names Karen, has conversations with, and she constantly tries to get Peter to use the most ludicrous - and ludicrously lethal - features he has at his disposal after she activates. (How he manages to activate her despite the "Training Wheels Protocol" being in place, I'm still not sure, though. It feels a bit like the writers pulled that out of their half-dozen asses, but I'll forgive this little flaw.)

It's funny how when Spidey wasn't part of any cinematic universe, he had pretty much no friends, but now he does. Metaphor much? But seriously, Peter's friends really help liven up this movie like nothing else. They're all smart as whips - well, it's Midtown School of Science and Technology, so that's a given, and they're academic decathletes besides. But the standouts, of course, are the aforementioned Ned (hilarious as hell), Liz (a real sweetheart like you wouldn't believe, and refreshingly sincere and un-ironic about it too), and Michelle. Though she's a little underused, and she comes off cold and condescending sometimes, she's got more than enough of a deadpan sense of humor (like outside the Washington Monument where she says she won't go in because it was built by slaves - and, selling the scene, the nearby tour guide silently agrees with her!), not to mention her damn good sketching skills. I still ship her with Peter largely because Tom Holland and Zendaya play off each other terrifically outside the movie (like in a few Freeform-specific promo pieces, and on Lip Sync Battle where he cosplayed Rihanna and she cosplayed Bruno Mars), but also because, well, they each remind me a little of Brian and Allison from The Breakfast Club, and I always shipped those two because A) I'm that geekboy nobody's given a chance romantically, and B) I like Ally Sheedy and I'm not afraid to admit it.

That was another thing I couldn't help but love about this movie - it being, as promised, a love letter to the work of John Hughes. The references vary from on the nose (Michelle going into detention just 'cause she felt like it, again like Allison; Peter running through a bunch of backyards like in Ferris Bueller - and he even catches some people watching that movie and compliments their taste) to general aesthetic appreciation of 80s teen movies (Peter and Ned's dynamic being strongly reminiscent of Weird Science, the Homecoming dance helping set the stage for the movie's climax...until it doesn't, because twists, you know.) Further helping in this regard is the movie's soundtrack, one of the best of any Spidey-movie ever. Though Raimi's trilogy had Danny Elfman's iconic score, and Webb gave us some great musical cues in Coldplay's "Till Kingdom Come" and Philip Phillips' "Gone Gone Gone" (and of course "My Enemy," Electro's sinister leitmotif), this movie was loaded with not only a toe-tapping Michael Giacchino score (which featured a soaring orchestral rendition of the classic Spidey theme over the Marvel Studios logos), but also some of the best retro music. Including the Ramones - which, now I think about it, was something the Amazing movies sorely lacked, especially given that Garfield's version of Peter once wore a Ramones T-shirt.

Between the general John Hughes vibe, the smaller and more personal nature compared to other MCU entries (yeah, Joss Whedon, you promised that on Age of Ultron, but you didn't pull that off, did you?), and the bold and bright color palette, it's no wonder that I spent a good 75% or so of this movie with a big old smile on my face - the antidote I needed to the devastating ending of Cassandra Clare's Lord of Shadows, which I finished reading last night. As for the remaining 15%, well, there were a few downbeat moments, of course...but those make up only about 2% of the movie overall. The remaining 23% are amazingly kick-ass action scenes. Jon Watts proves himself a great director, commanding all the visual panache of Raimi or Webb at their best and then some. There are so many great action sequences to choose from in this movie - the climactic final fight between Spidey and Vulture (which takes place on and around a camouflaged plane), the Staten Island Ferry ripping apart from stolen alien weaponry gone awry, Spidey being literally dragged through the streets by Vulture's goons in a van...but none beat the Washington Monument scene smack in the middle of this movie, a nearly symmetrical peak of white-knuckle action and acrophobia. It's truly iconic cinema - you heard it here first!

All in all, while Spider-Man: Homecoming doesn't manage to usurp the throne shared by TASM 1 and 2 in my heart (and nor did I expect it to), Holland takes the torch Garfield passes him, and takes it with A+ aplomb, continuing the MCU's hot streak - a streak I don't anticipate ending anytime soon, not with the likes of Ragnarok, Black Panther, Infinity War, and Ant-Man and the Wasp on tap for the next 365 days or so. I'm really just very bummed that we have to wait two years now for the sequel to this movie - provided Sony doesn't have a fight with Marvel over the whole snarl of creative control and film rights. At least I know the franchise is in top-notch hands.

Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember: Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

And one more thing - when you stick around for the post-credits scene (and it amuses me that there are still those who don't - like, have they not learned about Marvel tradition yet?), be prepared for the greatest meta-twist on the post-credits formula since that of Deadpool. You'll love it.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: You're Welcome. Obviously.

***THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE REVIEW.***

"And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You will never break
Never break the chain!"
-Fleetwood Mac

Of all the pieces of all the Awesome Mix soundtracks to any Guardians of the Galaxy movie that ever has been or will ever be, none is better than my favorite Fleetwood Mac song. Hearing it in the Super Bowl spot for Vol. 2 was all the proof I needed that this movie would be undeniably awesome and terrifically top-notch, and barring a misstep or two, I was not at all disappointed in James Gunn's latest masterpiece.

Dysfunctional like Fleetwood Mac too, but I'll be damned if they don't serve some fine entertainment.

Like Vol. 1, this sequel is part of the MCU and yet detached enough from the overall narrative (especially since this one takes place only a couple of months after its predecessor, and thus predates all the other MCU movies of the last two years) that it's perfectly suited for outsider viewing. Outsiders to the rest of the MCU, and maybe to the first movie as well, but what the hell would you be doing watching these movies out of order?

If you saw the first movie (in which case, sweet!), you'll have an idea what to expect the second time around, especially now that James Gunn is not only director, but sole credited screenwriter. Tons of 70s music, eye-popping colors, alien mayhem all around, and anti-heroes you can't help but love (unlike, say, some of those that Zack Snyder and David Ayer keep shoving at us in their shockingly abysmal DCEU films) because they're so emotionally and mentally screwed up it's not even funny. Not that the movie isn't funny, of course. If you're not laughing your ass off at some Rocket Raccoon zinger or background event involving Baby Groot (and while we're on the subject...OH MY GOD BABY GROOT HE'S SUCH A CUTE LITTLE SHIT!), you're watching the movie wrong. But you know what? Funny isn't the only thing this movie has going for it. While the first one had a tear-jerker moment or two (I've especially got the prologue in mind), Vol. 2, in its quest to outdo its predecessor in every way, doesn't neglect to outdo Vol. 1 in the feels department. And let me tell you, this movie gets into Amazing Spider-Man 2 territory with its bittersweet ending where one of your faves dies. You will cry ugly tears, no doubt about it.

Pictured: everyone watching the ending, before the disco and five post-credits scenes came along to rebalance our feels.

But in addition to the laughs aplenty and those tears to feed James Gunn's suddenly-hungry muse, there's the visuals. Oh my God, the visuals. They're up to Amazing Spider-Man 2 levels as well, beautifully blending CGI and reality in unique and unforgettable ways, especially when we get to Ego the Living Planet, said to be Marvel's biggest VFX yet. (Bigger even than the climax of either Avengers movie? Yes, absolutely.) If you can spare some extra cash to spring for a 3D viewing (and you don't have a problem with an occasional headache), do it.

Sorry, Doctor Strange, you just fell to #2 on my list of biggest MCU visual treats.

Really, the only thing I can think of that's a point against Vol. 2 is that Gunn bloats the character sheet a bit too much. Sure, almost everyone's got a story to tell (though, for whatever reason, Rocket and Groot's story remains largely untold - dammit, Marvel, green-light their solo movie already!) But there are those whose stories don't add much to the big picture. There's the Sovereign, a race of golden-skinned aliens who contract the Guardians to protect one of their precious resources, and turn into the Guardians' enemies when Rocket steals some batteries from them, and go after them with remote-controlled ships that they play with like competitive gamers, or perhaps the cast of Ender's Game. Good for a few bits of fun combat (there's an especially fun scene where they chase the Guardians into a quantum asteroid field - the asteroids like to teleport around, making navigation of the field exceedingly unpredictable), but overall they wind up being surprisingly forgettable. Same goes for Nebula, who (other than being invaluable in the movie's incredibly high-stakes final act) doesn't do much other than angst over her long-standing rivalry with Gamora and her need to kill Thanos, which tends to drag the movie down at times. Funny, some people thought Nebula was underused in Vol. 1 and Gunn compensated for that here? I think the opposite.

But even Nebula has her purpose - being part of a seriously dysfunctional, and yet seriously loving, family. That's this movie's primary theme - family, as well as love and loneliness, the last of which afflicts most of the main cast to some degree. Star-Lord wants to date Gamora, but he's a guy who dances and she's a lady who doesn't. Rocket repels everyone he comes into contact with, but he's a smol cinnamon roll inside - and Yondu, that surprisingly charming rogue (Michael Rooker, when is he not?), identifies strongly with him for that reason. Mantis has been all alone with only Ego for company, and Ego is himself cripplingly lonely because, well, being an immortal god ("lowercase g, son") sucks elephant balls sometimes.

I related to just about all those guys and gals too much at some point while watching this.

So, to sum up, Guardians Vol. 2 is a killer cool sequel that, while not quite as good as its predecessor, still has no trouble throwing A-grade awesome at us, and needs to be watched by everyone immediately. If nothing else, you'll get more of Yondu's notorious whistle-powered arrow, the best movie weapon you'll ever see and frickin' fight me on this.

("Only he didn't use 'frickin'.'")

Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember: Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

Logan: My Feels Are NOT OKAY!

***THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE REVIEW.***

Two movies, two days, two movie reviews. Yesterday was an explosive funfest with Kong: Skull Island, and now I'm here to review Logan, the latest extension of the often quite tangled threads of the X-Men movie 'verse. Like last year's Deadpool, Logan is pretty damn different from all the other X-Men movies, to its benefit, and is not only among the best in the entire franchise, but also one of the best superhero movies of all. (Though you know it won't top either of the two Amazing Spider-Man movies for me, not those supremely underrated gems.) However, while Deadpool is a breath of fresh air and breezy summer sunshine in between all the gore and carpet cluster F-bombage and other adult content (not for nothing is Ryan Reynolds God's perfect idiot!), Logan is the moon to DP's sun, the night to its day. It's gritty, violent, and will make you cry buckets - and that's a promise.

For the final time, Hugh Jackman as the clawed wonder.

Every art form has its heyday, and that heyday has to eventually come to an end. Superhero movies, for instance, are all the rage now, much more so than they were ten years ago (though the real revolutionary game-changers like The Dark Knight and Iron Man had yet to come along in 2007.) One day, superhero movies will fade away, and some other filmmaking style will come into vogue. Logan proves that even in an increasingly grimdark world, this is not that day, even though this movie does get very, very dark and deadly as it explores themes of mortality, extinction, and uncertainty that the next generation will have anything worth inheriting.

Logan is set in a near-future (2029, to be precise) where mutants are starting to slowly die off, as it's said none have been born in 25 years, and those who are left are succumbing to the ravages of time. Professor Xavier, in his nineties, is afflicted with dementia, and suffers from seizures that cause devastating psychic explosions in a large radius around him. And as for our title character, played in one of Hugh Jackman's best performances ever, he's dying in spite of his virtual immortality from his healing factor - dying of adamantium poisoning, calling to mind shades of Iron Man 2 where the very thing that helped make Tony Stark a superhero was killing him. Unlike in IM2, however, there's no easy solution to Logan's illness - it's not a simple matter of upgrading his machinery, especially because those who have the expertise to do so most certainly cannot be trusted.

Such as those responsible for the creation of a new mutant, using Logan's DNA. (Ironically, the scenes in X-Men: Apocalypse focusing on Logan's imprisonment in Alkali Lake, which are most important for setting this movie up, were the most forgettable for me - completely unlike this movie.) Laura looks like a sweet, innocent little girl, but is really very dangerous, with top-notch martial arts skills and double claws, as well as spikes in her feet - all covered with adamantium too, so try not to think about how she'll eventually get poisoned to death by that metal unless she figures out a way to get her claws and spikes reinforced by some less harmful material.

Logan doesn't want to help her - he just wants to take himself and Xavier away from the world and live on a boat, which he's been wanting to buy from some guy down in Mexico. But because Laura is his daughter (even if she was basically test-tubed without his knowledge or consent), he reluctantly agrees to follow the suggestion of Gabriela, the nurse who set Laura free from a Transigen facility in Mexico (the descendant of Alkali Lake), and take Laura to a rumored safe haven for mutants in Canada, called Eden. Clues to Eden's location and existence are, unbelievably, hidden in vintage X-Men comics which Laura likes to read - a plot device that I'm frankly astonished the MCU didn't do first, and now if they so much as attempt to do so, they'll look like they're copycatting this movie instead.

As for copycatting (or, more accurately, homaging), Logan is pretty full of it too. Plot details in this movie borrow liberally from Real Steel (grim near-future featuring somewhat decayed tech from today, and of course Hugh Jackman's presence) and Mad Max (pretty much all the movies in this series, except perhaps The Road Warrior, but especially Fury Road with its extended mashup of road-movie and chase-movie story elements). I also noted some similarities to the early parts of Transformers: Age of Extinction (private army in big black gas-guzzling trucks and SUVs pursuing our heroes), the Divergent movies (particularly Insurgent with the scene where our heroes have to get past an oncoming train - and Logan, unbelievably, manages to weaponize that train beautifully), Maximum Ride (the lab full of genetically-engineered kids - and also Dark Angel with the near-future setting) and even 2012 (Logan's vehicle of choice in the early parts of the movie being a limo - which, incidentally, is a "'24 Chrysler" that looks like a bizarre mashup of a current 300 and a customized 70s sedan.)

There's a ton of action to go around, and also some flashes of humor (although most of this is saved for a Deadpool 2 teaser that plays right before the movie proper - get ready for Ryan Reynolds' bare ass plastered against a phone booth door!), but definitely a metric shit-ton of feels as well. That's because family is such an important part of this movie, and you're going to feel so much for the unconventional family of grandpa Xavier, daddy Logan, and daughter Laura. On some level, you'll relate to them all, or you'll have a family member of whom you'll be reminded by one of the above. Like Amazing Spider-Man, The Flash, or Big Hero 6, Logan is now my platinum standard for fictional feels - especially because the movie doesn't leave any breathing room in its conclusion. The ending is absolute devastation, with only the barest hint of a ray of sunlight at the end of the tunnel. You'll want to grasp that ray with all your might, and keep hold of all the tissues - you'll need them.

But don't worry - while the movie is powerfully sad and grim, remember that hope. Remember it when you think about how there's so much other grimdarkness in recent comic-book adaptations (think BvS, or The Walking Dead Season 7), but what sets Logan apart from those is its broad-spectrum emotional experience, rather than going for a bunch of nihilistic sound and fury signifying nothing.

And for me, I really loved this movie because of how much it must have influenced the Red Rain series even before I began writing those books. Looking back, I realize that Alex and Gabe, being produced from Elijah's stolen DNA, were made in a way not unlike Laura. And as for the future of the series...well, I've recently started work on Peppermint, the fifth novel, and thanks to this movie, I've managed to add a lot to my world-building for that book. For further details, stay tuned...but suffice it to say, the next chapter of Peppermint will include some of these Logan references, presented to my heroes - and my readers - in the mouth of a Hugh Jackman lookalike villain named Kristoff Scoville.

(Yes, I came up with the idea to name my villain after author Jay Kristoff while watching this movie. Judge me.)

Logan deservedly earns an A+ from me, and even against the more lighthearted likes of Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 and Spider-Man: Homecoming, it's locked in as a shoo-in for this year's Pinecone Award film winners. It's that good, and that deserving of the $400+ million it's earned at the worldwide box office - so far.

Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember: Denis Leary is always watching. Always.

Doctor Strange: Marvel's Most Literal Movie Magic

***THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE REVIEW.***

"I've come to bargain..."

Phase Three of the Marvel Cinematic Universe began this year with Captain America: Civil War, an absolutely A-grade thriller. The next in the series, Doctor Strange, has a lot of hype to live up to - not only as Civil War's follow-up, but also from hype of its own making, with the marketing campaigns highlighting what promised to be the movie's greatest strength - its unique visual style, completely new for the MCU.

Welcome to the New York Sanctum.

A few people were leery of Benedict Cumberbatch getting cast in the title role, but me. I thought he pulled it off perfectly. He brought the right amount of arrogance and snark to channel his inner Dr. House - and hell, with his gravelly American accent (not as good as Hugh Laurie's, but then Laurie wasn't quite perfect either), he sounds uncannily like Fox's former favorite pill-popper. But then this origin story takes a huge turn off a cliff, literally, when Strange gets distracted while driving and crashes his speedy Lamborghini. His origin story parallels that of Tony Stark very strongly in that respect - a rich genius playboy (though Strange is neither a billionaire nor a philanthropist) who falls from decadence and learns a few long-overdue lessons in humility.

And that's not the only lessons he learns. On the advice of a man who seemingly pulled off a miraculous recovery from a paralyzing spinal injury, he goes to Nepal to seek spiritual enlightenment at a place called Kamar-Taj.

There, he gets a little more than he bargained for. He finds his way into a world of sorcerers, and under the guidance of the Ancient One (Tilda Swinton being, well, Tilda Swinton) and Mordo (traditionally a villain, but prepare for some surprises), starts to learn the magical arts himself. Everyone has the power to draw on the energy of infinite other worlds, it seems. All one has to do is learn how to harness it.

Naturally, there are those who don't harness it properly. Enter our villain, Master Kaecilius (is Mads Mikkelsen ever a good guy?) He's been drawn in by an evil god's empty promises of immortality and being one with the Dark Dimension - a little bit of subtle Satanism in a movie where the mysticism is otherwise predominantly Eastern - and now he's out to bring the Ancient One's world crashing down around her ears.

This is when Strange must stand up to be counted as a hero - and overcome his primary flaws of arrogance and anger. And, if Mordo is to be believed, his unwillingness to kill. Sure, a lot of his fellow comic-book heroes make it a point of not killing - Batman and Spider-Man in particular come to mind - but hey, given how deadly Kaecilius and his minions are...

Overall, the movie's one major weakness is the basic story, which I've recounted as much as I can without spoilers. It's a unique, fresh twist for the MCU, dovetailing beautifully with the introduction of Ghost Rider and the Darkhold on the current season of Agents of SHIELD, but it's another origin story, and it carries a lot of the same old tropes we got in Iron Man, Spider-Man, The Amazing Spider-Man, etc. etc.

However, what sets it apart from a lot of previous MCU installments (particularly those of Phases One and Two) is its more serious tone. Though it's still lined with considerable levity - a few one-liners and sight gags got the entire theater roaring with laughter. It doesn't have the same emotional range as, say, Guardians or Civil War or The Amazing Spider-Man 2 or Big Hero 6 - that is to say, fewer big tear-jerker moments, although there's one death scene in particular that'll give you some real feels.

Characterization is done very interestingly too - Doctor Strange is the most anti-heroic MCU film since maybe Guardians of the Galaxy. Strange himself, as stated above, is quite flawed - although the Cloak of Levitation can look beyond that enough to take a considerable liking to him. (You're gonna love the Cloak, that's for sure. It's got an eerily similar personality to Aladdin's Carpet.) But Strange isn't the only complex character in this movie. Mordo, Wong, the Ancient One, even Kaecilius show considerable depth and dynamism. And they're all deadly badasses. Did I mention that?

This badassery extends to the filmmakers as well - especially those responsible for the movie's visual effects, which, as promised, are incredible. Think Inception on steroids, kaleidoscopic and gravity-bending. Most of these action scenes take place in a "Mirror Dimension" in which reality itself fractures into broken shards, but it has no effect on the real world - at first, the Ancient One introduces it to Strange as a safe space to practice his powers. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 won't give up its throne as my favorite visual-treat movie easily, but Doctor Strange is the closest contender yet to TASM 2's electric slow-mo awesomeness. The only reason why Strange doesn't quite manage to take the throne is because while its effects are top-notch, they have a habit of upstaging the human actors because they're so prominent in their otherworldliness. Your eyes will want to follow the warping matter (which makes the sort of mechanical clicking sounds you'd expect the model machinery behind the Game of Thrones opening credits to make, if only they were actual models instead of CGI - and if only Ramin Djawadi's ear-worm theme tune wouldn't play over it) instead of the fighting sorcerers.

But hey, we'll always have the scene where the Ancient One first blasts Strange's astral form out of his meat-suit physical shell. That part, with all the wild colors and ridiculous speeds and Michael Giacchino score, feels like a Disneyland ride. Thank God the trailers never showcased that particular highlight so much. And also, the chakra-like light shields the sorcerers like to use for defense - these remind me so strongly of Stark tech that they feel like perfectly MCU-aesthetic magic.

But I'm going to go back to the Ancient One for a moment so I can address the controversy surrounding that character. One of the screenwriters, I think, called her casting a "Kobayashi Maru" for Marvel - essentially unwinnable. Cast an Asian person and the movie would run the risk of presenting the Ancient One as an offensive "Magical Asian" stereotype, so the movie went the other way and rewrote the Ancient One as Celtic, though still ambiguously Asian in appearance. While a testament to Tilda Swinton's chameleonic acting style, given the character's standout complexity, Marvel really should have striven harder to cast an Asian actor in the role. Director Scott Derrickson, however, has spoken on this controversy with considerable candor and awareness, much more so than a lot of his contemporaries - and of course, the movie does, to its credit, further distance itself from harmful stereotypes by rewriting Wong, who (as I understand) used to be a manservant, into a librarian you'd do well not to cross.

Doctor Strange isn't a perfect movie, and it's certainly not the MCU's best, but as a shaker-upper, it does its job beautifully. From me, it gets an A-. 

And so we close the book on MCU movies of 2016. Next year, we're getting the most yet, I believe, with three - Guardians Vol. 2, Spider-Man: Homecoming, and Thor: Ragnarok. All of which I'm really looking forward to, especially the former two because for sure they'll keep Phase Three from getting too grimdark.

Till next time, Pinecones...

#FeedTheRightWolf

Remember - Denis Leary is always watching. Always.