Review: A Very Large Expanse of Sea

A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It's a very different kind of book from Tahereh Mafi, being a contemporary romance - well, not exactly contemporary. It's set in 2002 and very steeped in its time period, with computers that felt like dinosaurs even back then, only one Harry Potter movie in theaters - and how was Shirin to know it was almost three hours long? - and costly cell phone minutes and texts, and no fancy touch screen models either.

Review: Darius the Great Is Not Okay

Darius the Great Is Not Okay by Adib Khorram
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Adib Khorram debuts strongly in this story of a biracial Persian boy coming to understand his own identity a bit better - not only as a Persian, but also as a depressed young man. There's a lot of talk in this book about what's passed down genetically, and in addition to certain deep aspects of Persian culture - Nowruz festivities, the game of Rook, daddy issues rooted in certain legends of warrior fathers accidentally killing warrior sons - Darius can also tell you that depression is genetic too, because he and his (white, German) dad both take medication for it.

Review: Villain

Villain by Michael Grant
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Who else thinks this cobra-head guy on the cover looks like he stepped out of the Stargate to lay waste to us all? Kinda like this or something.

Ralph Breaks The Internet: Oh My Disney, This Movie Is Awe And Some!

***THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE REVIEW.***

"Hello hello
Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero
Let me show you what it's like to always feel, feel
Like I'm empty and there's nothing really real, real
I'm looking for a way out!"
-Imagine Dragons

Let me also tell you that I'm very glad Imagine Dragons made "Zero" part of their brand-new album the way Fall Out Boy did for "Immortals" and Big Hero 6 roughly this time four years ago, because it totally deserves album inclusion for greater exposure...but I digress. The real genius of that song, though, is how it kinda low-key spoils one of the great themes of this really long-awaited Disney sequel, except not really. Because while it does give away that this one deals with loneliness - appropriate for a movie about the internet, no? - it doesn't say which major character has to grapple with this conflict, and in different ways, it's both our movie's stars who do. And along the way, it's a fun-tastic ride through cyberspace, but not at all without a serious emotional core like the best Disney movies.

Oh hai, Shank. I wanna get the right threads to cosplay as you next.

Review: Dry

Dry by Neal Shusterman
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

While we wait for Neal Shusterman to bring us the third and final Arc of a Scythe novel, here he collaborates with Jarrod Shusterman on a more contemporary, and yet more terrifying, dystopian kind of novel. Twenty Minutes In The Future, the California drought - particularly in the more arid Southland - has grown so bad that now all the taps have run dry, and in a period of two weeks or so, pure apocalyptic chaos erupts in and around Los Angeles. Up to and including some nice gated communities of Orange County. Though the book's a bit brought down by its weird array of multi-POVs that switch at an erratic rate - and the characters feel strangely little fleshed-out, with the exception of Jacqui and Kelton; but Henry is particularly annoying a character whom I grew tired of very quickly - it's very effective in its exploration of a dangerously plausible disaster. Even more dangerously plausible when the weather in California, IRL, is more broken than ever.

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Review: The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Honestly, it's weird how much every time I try a Kiersten White book, I never really get into it. Though this one's my favorite of hers that I've read so far - and I'm more than hopeful that the very forthcoming Slayer is quick to take over that throne - it's not saying much when all the other Kiersten White books I've read have really disappointed me. Not unlike my strange inability to really get into Holly Black's book, though I did rather like The Wicked King more than I expected. This book, though, is still somewhat disappointing, largely because as reverential and yet revolutionary as it is in its retelling of Frankenstein from Elizabeth's perspective, it does feel more than a little leaden in its pacing. But the twists, especially for someone who's read Frankenstein at least a dozen times now in various forms, are extremely unexpected and yet make all the sense. All in all, this latest from Kiersten White is a nice little stand-alone, a little slow, but legitimately very terrifying.

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The Crimes Of Grindelwald: "You Never Met A Monster You Couldn't Love."

***NO SPOILERS FOR THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD, BUT SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST FANTASTIC BEASTS FILM, AS WELL AS SOME OF THE HARRY POTTER NOVELS, ABOUND HEREIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.***

Over the years, it's become a running gag of sorts that J.K. Rowling will drop a whole new bit of long-hidden behind-the-scenes Potterlore on Pottermore, and virtually the entire internet rolls their collective eyes at her for having done so. Me, I'm enough of a lore fiend who's memorized so much trivia about the entire franchise that I've always dug it, and even had a private laugh at how much, to my perception, everyone else was just reaching for a reason to compete to see who could lay the sickest burn on one of my greatest inspirations. But this time I may have hit my limit? And not because of there being too much lore, but because I think this time, while sitting down to type up The Crimes of Grindelwald, JKR may have left her story bible behind in her other Scottish Highland mansion and saturated this screenplay, twisty as it was, with a few annoying continuity errors. So, yeah, in the twenty-four hours and counting since I've seen this movie, a lot of thoughts have percolated about it in my mind, all of it mixed. But I'm not about to toss the franchise in the trash heap, not by a long shot. It'd take a hell of a lot of Mooncalf shit on JKR's part to get me to jump on that bandwagon, and sure, we've never been closer to that hell of a lot. But for all the faults this movie's got, so much of it (*cough NEWT SCAMANDER MY AUTISTIC HERO cough*) shines jewel-bright like the Occamy's silver eggshells.

Everyone looking good and stylish. Except that bleached asshole on the upper right.